Lover's Day or month or forever.

February is one of my favorite months in my marriage.  Its reminders of days past.  Beginnings and change.  February 9 is the day Brian asked met to be his wife.  February 14 Valentines Day is the day we actually met.  I love it all.  It makes me feel warm and fuzzy and nostalgic.  It reminds me of being young and clueless and unaware of reality.  Its a nice place to travel back to but I would never want to stay there for long.  

Oh how I love these memories but oh how far we have come.  How many stories and memories I have now 15 years later.  How much we have been through, fought for and loved through.  It has always been worth it no matter the stage.  Brian is my best friend and I find that to be the most important at all times.  Because it is not always strawberries and champagne, sometimes its hard and sometimes its work.  Lets face it love isn't easy.  It take forgiveness and patience and understanding.  

We have been through the gamut this last year.  We have shared passion and uninterrupted time in Costa Rica.  We shared vacations with our kids and allowed ourselves to be more in love because we have them.  We have reminisced over the used to be's and the can you believe we did this_______.  We have followed God's leading and trudged through the wonder and bewilderment of transition.  We have fought we have made up.  We have been selfish and forgiving.  We have hurt each other and asked for forgiveness.  I have learned more about what love really is in the last year than I ever thought I could. 

In the end Brian Jager is my best friend, my lover, my confidant, my strength, and my encouragement.  I love him more than I thought I ever could.  

10 whole years = a decade

10 years is a long time. It's not as long as 50 but I have faith with continued hard work and dedication to the commitment we will get there:)

We spent the day soaking up the beautiful sun that I know some of you prayed for. It was nearly 80 degrees in Vancouver. We walked through the city had Ramen at a Ramen house for lunch...that was phenomenal! Enjoyed an amazing concert in the middle of a beautiful park. And decided to skip dinner and head home...because we are old and 10:30pm is just to late for dinner sometimes:)

I'm pretty sure that this is my favorite picture of the day.

I'm so blessed by this man. And so happy he still likes to kiss me! I didn't promise a post without kissing....it is an anniversary post after all.

In other news I pulled this out of the closet at my moms on Thursday.

I was pretty nervous to try it on. Especially when my sister said I;'m not sure that thing looks tiny....

Well that thing still fits:) Like a glove.

I loved it more than I remembered. The silk was still just as soft....the moment was quite surreal. It was was so strange to think of myself at 19 again and in the dress and how different I was and how different things were.


I've been thinking about things I would like to change for the next 10 and things that I would like to stay the same. Its amazing how much changes without you even trying. How much things grow without you even nourishing them. The things I would like to stay the same are probably pretty obvious. But the things I would like to change are pretty deep. I was thinking about hurts and hard times and what stuck out to me the most in those times. And I attempted to chisel out a few nuggets of good from each one.

The longer you are married the quicker you are to realize that the arguments are usually pretty silly. Saying sorry first doesn't seem like such a big deal. And admitting you're wrong doesn't take as much coaxing. The longer I am married the more I love Brian for his faults and the more I want to fix mine to be better for him. I love him more each day and it isn't because we are mushitty mush al the time although its easy for us to be. Its because the longer we love the easier it is to be vulnerable, and the more vulnerable you are the more your partner is able to learn. And the more I learn about Brian the more I love him.

Beejer this part is for you!! Thank you for making me a better woman everyday I am with you. Thank you for encouraging me to follow my dreams and really meaning it when you say my happiness is important to you. You have taught me what it means to love and be loved. What it means to trust and be trusted. Your heart for me is something I will never understand but something I thank God for daily. You are my best friend in this whole world. And this Team Jager stuff rocks!!

Someone gave me a statistic of kids from divorced marriages, and told me that their own marriages only have a 50% of surviving and in our situation it would be even less seeing as both sets of our parents had been divorced. Not the most supportive info you need to hear months before your wedding. And secondly this woman was pretty brave to judge our situations without even knowing the background. I remember telling her this marriage was going to be a commitment and we were a team. Her response was a scoff, I mean what do 19 year olds know. What she didn't know is this family I have now is the new family I prayed for from the time I was 5 years old, what happened on our wedding day was a fairytale for me that only had one possible ending and that was a happy one. I never told you but this is why I came to you one evening before we got married and made you promise me that we would always make this work. That no matter what we would always be together. That our kids would always have both of us under the same roof. That we would always fight for this not matter what happened. And I remember you looking at me in shock and a bit flabbergasted that I would worry this way. I am am shocked I worried this way too now. This marriage has been the thing that has brought me the most joy in my life, but that does not mean it has been free of hard work. Its a choice, being in love sometimes, but its one I will always gladly make! This marriage will always be worth fighting for!!

You are not only my dream come true but how God answered my prayers. And I don't care how cheesy this may sound to the rest of the world.....I would shout it from the tallest mountain. Aside from all of the other blessings God has given me being married to you would have been blessing enough to last me the rest of my days and that was only the beginning.

Can't wait to see where ten more years brings us babe!


This is the Jager motto. Wish we were part of this generation lets hope God is using us to build a new one that believes these words!

Whats Up For The Weekend You Ask?

Welp tomorrow is the big ten year anniversary. Thats right a whole decade. Its a pretty big deal in my opinion but more on that later.

The hubdub suprised me a few weeks back with tickets to see Bon Iver in Vancouver...Burnaby actually...in Deer Lake Park. I am so excited.

The plan is to spend the day in Vancouver, a weather dependant trip around Stanley Park. Then the rain or shine outdooor concert (if you love me at all you will pray for sun) and then dinner at this place. My nerdy fellow foodies have highly recommended it.

I am so looking forward to this day I can not even explain. We could do nothing all day and I would still be looking forward to this day.

On to the rest of the weekend.

Saturday is a Meet the Meat Open House at the one and only Cackleberry Farm. Its a chance to meet the animals on the farm and see the truly amazing and respectable job they do over there. Angry Blueberry will be providing some appetizers. Should be a good day on the farm I am looking forward to it.

Sunday...Sunday....Sunday is Ski To Sea. Not sure if you read the article Ski to Sea from A to Z in the Herald....But here is what they wrote about the running leg-
P is for....PAVEMENT: The most infamous event of Ski to Sea has got to be the running leg. Runners pound the pavement in an eight-mile torture test from the Mt. Baker Ski Area to the Shuksan Department of Transportation shed, dropping more than 2,200 feet in the process and sending runners to icy streams of runoff to seek relief for their aching knees, ankles, shins and feet. There's a reason the area's top runners stay away from this leg.

Read more here: http://www.bellinghamherald.com/2012/05/23/2526159/ski-to-sea-from-a-to-z.html#storylink=cpy

As if I wan't peeing my pants enough over this whole thing. This post is turning into prayer request central. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't tell you my right inner hip has been a bit sore...not in pain there is a difference but sore for sure. So pray for it please.
We had our first and last team meeting last night. Everyone is pumped and ready to go. The first four legs have to be up to the mountain by 7 that makes for an early morning. Double fist pumps for new adventures!

Monday is the annual Meat Feed for the men in my life. Brians friends have an annual BBQ called Meat Feed where all they eat is meat. This year Brian and my Dad fashioned a rotisserie spit with a working motor and they will be using it to roast a suckling pig.

Monday for the chicks includes a trip to the spa. That sounds a million times better than meat feed to me.

With all that being said it is a huge weekend of celebration and new experiences. One that will go down in my own little history book I am sure!


My friend the Farmer says posts without pictures are boring......

I promise pictures tomorrow. Maybe some that are from the blast from the past category. Come back tomorrow to celebrate ten years with us. They have been epic!

Surprise Date.

My husband is wonderful! And although I know he is romantic if he tries and is very skilled in the area of planning dates if he applies himself it is not something he does very often. But don't confuse this with me being ungrateful because he's the greatest thing since sliced bread!! This all being said he planned the most wonderful surprise date ever this past Saturday and totally knocked my socks off.

Here are the pictures to prove it.

First of all he told me I needed to be ready by 4:30 and he would be picking up. He also instructed me to wear a dress....love to get dressed up its like my fav so I was already beyond excited. I also happened to have a new dress hanging in the closet just begging to be worn.

He showed up as promised and put his suit on. Swoon. Not kidding I love a man in a suit...mostly just my man.

Then we got in the car and we drove and drove, passed Bellingham and continued to drive. Finally we reached Seattle and rounded the corner of a very familiar neighborhood to me. And I knew we were going to my favorite restaurant Branzino, he dropped me at the door and went to park the car what a gentleman.

We started with the cheese course...dear me heaven help me its a weakness:)

There was a cheese that very much resembled a Tellagio(my favorite), a bleu, and a hard sharp cheddar. They were paired with walnuts, dark chocolate, dried cherries, and apples. It lived up to all of my hopes and dreams.

Next came the Entrees.

Brian had House Made Ravioli stuffed with house marinated short ribs....be still my heart, thankfully he is a good sharer and I was able to taste these they were beyond fabulous. I think pasta is the next thing on the Angry Blueberries to master:)


I had pan seared duck with a sherry reduction, baby turnips and grilled brocolini. It was delicious...I love duck. I shared with Brian and he loves duck too now. If you've never tried it cooked in this way you haven't tried it in my opinion its just fabulous, nothing compares.


These are the types of photos Brian takes of me when we are out. They are always strange. When questioned he says its because I never stop talking long enough for him to get a normal look on my face....hmmm....there may be some truth in there somewhere.

Second Stop- Bathtub Gin. Any amazingly charming tiny little cocktail bar located in a back alley that is not marked by anything besides a tiny plaque on the wall outisde the door. This place has an extremely strict code form the fire marshall as to how many people can be inside at one time. The occupancy can't be anymore than 30 -40. Its two stories and if they don't have room you may have to wait in the alley all shady like while you wait. We had to wait for about five minutes, when the book reading doorman came out and informed us he had just kicked to table poachers out of our spot....thanks book reading door man guy:)

this was the only picture we took there. I must have stopped talking;)

Last but not least we took in a movie at Paul Allen's movie theater just a few blocks away. They only show one film there at a time on one screen. It is most always an independantish film. The one we watched was called Pina. CLick here for a trailer. Anyway the movie was totally strange but interesting at the same time. It is about a famous French ballet choreographer and I guess she was quite unique in her creations. This was apparent when the movie started out with a ballerina sporting the greatest pair of granny panties while playing an accordion.

The theater was so dreamy. Big curtains that covered that unveiled a huge screen right at the appropriate moment. Stars on the ceiling. The aroma of chocolate the moment you entered and the most comfortable red velvet movie seats that rocked. Ummmm yeah...it was over the top.



Two Sweathearts.
Sad to say the self timer pictures I took before we left did not work out at all so no picture of the aforementioned dress. Guess I will just have to wear it again.

Probably the best date ever. With my favorite person in this world. Thanks for being mine babe I am so blessed by you!

Half my life and how it began.

The day after we got engaged my mother in law threw us a little engagement lunch party after church. You know whats funny I still remember what we ate...Prime Rib and her famous Yorkshire Pudding with gravy....oh yes that meal is one of my ultimate favorites! Doesn't this picture of BJ look like our Elliot?

Today marks the day my husband asked me to marry him. I know I have told the story many times and that isn't what I intend to do here today. However it is always a day of reflection for me. This week not only marks our engagement but also the crazy anniversary of us meeting for the very first time 15 years ago. Yes folks this week marks the fact that I have spent 1/2 of my life with my husband. Excuse me....what???? This fact alone brings emotion not only to me but some of the strangest emotional reactions from others. For some people this simple piece of information cheapens it for them. You get strange comments such as,"oh so you were high school sweethearts? How sweet...." Or, "Wow you got married so young." Or...my favorite,"How could you have possibly known what you wanted that young." My response if I don't make the choice to quickly flee the situation is not always so nice.....:) What my nice response would be is, "It was not up to me who I would fall in love with and when." The second part that grabs much response is when I tell them I was really in love with my husband in High School....not puppy love not teenage hormonal lust (although there was that too)...nope I was full on in love with him! And today for the first time I think I have it formulated in my mind well enough to explain how and why that was and is.

I met my husband at a high school dance...yep a room full of sweaty hormone crazy teenagers with the soundtrack of "I Got Five On It" playing the background. Oh 90's music how I love thee! Moving forward. The "friend" I rode with to the dance introduced us, and apparently she forgot to tell me that she was interested in BJ before we arrived. If she would have God would have had to get a lot craftier because I would have never accepted his offer for a dance and I would have attempted to slap away any attraction I had for him. But she didn't make it known so well that friendship didn't last....because as soon as I danced with that boy it was all over for me! The way he looked at me was not how I was used to boys looking at me. The way he talked to me made me feel as if he actually cared about what I had to say. And I can tell you I had never experienced an interaction with the opposite sex in this way before. Sad, but true. He ruined me for anyone else I would date int he future. The bar had been raised and I realized I deserved how he was treating me.

So fast forward a couple of months. Oh man the unedited story of BJ and Jessica is hilarious to me now....I will spare you all the details...my mother in law and grandmothers read this:) What I will share is that as time went on I began to feel love, I began to feel acceptance...I could be exactly me, I never had to pretend to be anyone else with BJ. I will also share that I had never experienced unconditional love in my whole life. You may think this a bold statement and it is but it is nothing short of the truth. Love that I had experienced at this point also had to be earned and came from my fulfilling someones elses role for me. At this point I was not a Christian all that would come!

So here is the rest of this bold story. After almost 2 years of a crazy high school relationship things to began to get difficult. God wanted me for his own so bad, and I was fighting it because I didn't know how to balance my relationship with a boyfriend and my relationship with my Heavenly Father. At the time I had put BJ in a very poor position, I had put him on a pedestal that had one place to go and that was down because he was human. This love I felt I never wanted to lose. What I didn't realize at the time was that if I would accept the love of Jesus for all that it was I would never lose "love." I would never lose the acceptance that I felt from that boy because no matter if I had him or not I would always have God with no matter where I went. But God was working. I would hear Jim Huleatt deliver the message of Gods unfailing love for me a few times a week and I had convinced myself my devotion could be in both places. (by the way for a time BJ and I were only allowed to see each other 2 times a week so church and youth group were for the most part the only time we saw each other) Oh I was so confused its painful for me to admit. It is humbling to share all this.

So, you probably already know where this story is heading...yep 1 week before prom we broke up. I was devastated because I had convinced myself I would never have that love again. That that was my one shot and I screwed it up. What was even more devastating was my mother called my MIL up and informed her that BJ would still be taking me to prom. Oh my goodness, insert dying of embarrassment here:) What an awkward evening:)

Further more that devastation brought longing. Longing for the feelings I thought I had lost. I felt empty in a way I never had before, but not for long. I continued to go to the same church I had gone to through my relationship with BJ. I never missed church or youth group and this is when I began to blossom. I started to become the real me. The me with Christ living in me. And I can tell you with tears rolling down my cheeks, I know that God was big enough to bring this about in another way if he needed to, but I love my story I love that he drew me to him in the way that he did.

The end of the story is as follows. The day after Christmas 1999 I was baptized and declared my profession of faith. It was the single most beautiful moment of my life. One that will remain with me forever. One that is personal in so many ways. I am always so amazed at the stories people have of how they came to Christ and this is part of mine.

And 3 years later I stood in that very same church and made promises to a man that God had redelivered to me...and no I don't think I was to young and yes I knew exactly what I wanted. And the best part of my story is God had taken ahold of my heart....he was #1 and BJ was #2 and that was how it was intended! I had the love I deserved, all of the love God intended me to have!!

So there it is the story of me....the story of God in me and the role that he gave my husband to play in it.

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