My days are different.

Every time I make an appointment around here I am faced with the normal question...what time works for you? It causes me to giggle...as anytime between the hours of 9 and 3:15 Monday through Friday work for me. The question of what on your list tomorrow holds no weight at this point as tomorrow brings the same as the one before, not a whole lot. I am not complaining as I am an overcommiter....this has been therapeutic. It is just strange how the joyful moments of my day have changed and maybe in some ways for the better.

My joyful moments include picking the kids up from school, dropping them off seems more unnatural then ever at this point and I can't wait to see them in the afternoon. Kissing my husband when he walks in the door after work and asking him how his day was. Making dinner maybe this hasn't changed much but I can spend all afternoon making different elements if I want. Helping my grandma with projects and spending time sewing, and knitting...exploring the city together....it has been more of a blessing then anything having her here. And receiving random phone calls from friends back home, conversations filled with well wishes and info that I am missing out on. I enjoy our evenings together more than I have ever been able to as they are a blank slate to entertain however we see fit. This time is a blessing it has opened my eyes to the things we have been missing.

But I would be lying if I didn't tell you I don't miss my old life. I miss Eagle Boosters, my friends, church, and school. This is a completely new ball game and I have to remind myself at times that there is purpose in it.

I now have a chore schedule to clean all 4400 sq ft of this monstrosity of a home. Carpets on Tuesdays, hard floors on Thursdays, bathrooms on Wednesdays...I really dislike cleaning it is my nemesis so the breakdown really helps. Cooking dinner is my oasis and something to look forward to everyday. The kids were begging for pizza the other day as we have eaten at home for every meal since we got here...I guess my cooking is good but everyone likes a treat now and again:)

Currently I am getting more used to the idea that this life holds great meaning too and my ability to create a nest for my family is very valuable. It is hard though to go from a list of titles from others, to just mom, wife and granddaughter. But God is teaching me...showing me the way a little more each day. And I can see how this blank slate is beneficial for those around me. And hopefully I will see how this benefits me as well over time.

In completely separate news, I received an invitation to a Holiday Celebration thrown by none other than Mr. Jager and his colleagues for their employees. Its pretty swanky apparently.

I am pretty pumped. Not only because I have something to look forward too either. Nope I am a registered dress hoarder...yep thats me. I buy them up cheap and store them away. So I've already got the dress. I scheduled a hair appt...oh yeah I found a salon yesterday and got my hair did:) and so all I am going to splurge on is a pair of shoes because I may be a shoe hoarder as well. And now from the sounds of it I may be becoming a better kept woman than I originally thought. At least I can look the part. My grandma says I need to carry myself as a professionals wife....hahahaha! You can take the girl out of farm country but you can't take the farm out of the girl!

Home Is Where My HEART Is

This is a post that may do nothing for you, it really is just a rambling of sorts. It may seem sappy, it may seem boring to some but it is genuine. I have been constantly reminded lately of how much I love my life. In this post I plan on telling you why.
First I love my house, our home. To many it may seem small, it may seem old, it may seem like a lot of projects and it is all of these things. But, it is also ours, its where we sleep at night, its where I can hear my children playing and fighting, its where I welcome my friends, its where I know we are safe and stable. And mostly it is the place God gave us to be a family. I love this house. One of our friends recently said this place always feels like home, well if you know me at all you know my heart melted into a big puddle on the floor. It is what I have always wanted.
Second I love our friends. In High School I had friends but most them were just surface level friends. Oddly enough there are only two that I keep in touch with now that I am incredibly close with. Over the last few years though acquaintances have turned into friends and now are family to us. I see them all of the time and I miss them when they are gone. We rejoice in each others excitement and pray for each others hard times. I don't know what I would do without them.
Third Family. Our Family is much like anyone elses. We have our differences, we are all unique and have different gifts and talents. But at the end of the day we are exactly that, Family. Each of us is in it because God has chosen us to be a part of it for a specific reason. I love them all and would do anything for them and they would for me! I am so lucky to have them and my children are so lucky to have grandparents and great grandparents that love them through it all.
And lastly but definitely not leastly:) My little family of four. I never thought in a million years that if I had children that I would have only two. I really always thought that we would have 4 kids and live this big family life. But God had different plans. And although there are days that it stings to think that we are not having anymore children in all honesty I can not imagine anymore than what I have right now. Even though Grace is never quiet and Elliot literally runs circles around me, I love those two little rascals more than anything on this earth. I think both of them belong right here with us and they are the perfect pairing for Brian and I. The three blessings I live with everyday are rewarding, exhausting and completely amazing in their own ways.
Mostly though and this has been a recent thought of mine I think because this birthday hit me weird. I can not believe what God has pulled us through in the last 7 years and even more so the last 15. I remember how I felt about myself in high school and the first few years out of it and I am not even a shadow of that now. I am not trying to say that I am so old or so seasoned or that I even have a smidgen of this figured out. However, I love myself now and love what I have and so much of what I have has nothing to do with material goods or money. (I don't know if I have ever really believed that I loved myself before. This thought actually came as surprise to me the other day which makes me cry a bit even now.) Most of what I have is just complete blessing piled upon blessing, piled upon blessing. It is amazing when you let God love you he really shows you a lot. He has showed me a ton and I really feel like I am bursting at the seams right now with this life!! And I can't wait to see what the next 7, 10, 15 years bring I am sure they will be hard,I am sure they won't be perfect they never are but I know they will be amazing!
I am a woman who needs nothing at all but wants all that she has more than she ever knew she would!
I have been trying to live in each moment lately instead of rushing through days at a time. This life is precious, THIS LIFE IS GOOD!
And I am sure yours is as well!!