This old house part 6,729:)

Its been a humbling week. I have needed to dig deep to remember to be thankful in all things. To search for the positive. And to remember what really matters. Its been tough but we've made it.

I was sharing with my friend about our situation and she gave me the sweetest compliment. Wether she was just trying to give me a pick me up I'm not sure but it made remember that sometimes God isn't just using your situation to teach you. My friend said I always know you Jager's will be fine because you always have an overwhelming peace about you like its all going to work out, faith that spreads over all she said. Now I assure you she sees everything in me I hide no tears from this woman...she is someone I consider not only a confidant but a friend. I thanked her for her words and then I went home and thanked God for using me in a way I had no idea that I could be used.

The truth is Brian and I do have a strong faith. It doesn't mean we don't freak out from time to time or crumble, however I have learned that circumstances are just temporary, money is just money and things are just things. The only thing that matters is my faith in God. Aside from that my little family comes next and if there is one thing that works its is my husband and I's ability to work as a team. Times of stress have always brought us closed and we are always very careful to keep them separate from our relationship.

This last week would be no different when the night before school started we had to move our kids out of our house. I had decided to replace the tile in the bathroom and upon removing a bit of tile found that we had a very large problem. Not only was there a very large leak but it had obviously been leaking for a very long time. And it had created a very large amount of very nasty black mold. Once we uncovered the mold I knew we couldn't leave it uncovered but we couldn't cover it back up. So we moved out. All of us the night before school started. Talk about stress and upheaval. Thank heavens for grandma's and family and friends, this wouldn't have worked without them.

So you guessed it we flung ourselves into a bathroom remodel that we had not planned on in any way shape or form. There were a lot of concerns....number one - Brian couldn't take anytime off of work being in the employment situation he is in right now (with the job possibility),Number two- yeah so this was going to cost a bunch of money and being cash only makes these sorts of situations nerve wracking and it requires a heap of faith, Number three - we only have one bathroom , number four - we do all the work ourselves in our house.

So we spent every moment after work until midnight or 1am ripping out our bathroom and putting a new one in. Yep we had to rip the whole thing out. Joists, subfloor...everything. It was sickening. However we were so thankful to find the problem now rather than finding out from renters or because the bathtub fell through the floor (not being dramatic this could have happened).

And as of Tuesday we had a new bathroom that we could use it whatever way we needed. And it is beautiful.

And I need to mention the money part. We have a couple months a year that grant us an extra pay period which equals "extra money." This was one of those months. At the beginning of August I had about 4 things I needed to spend that extra money on but by the time it came I had budgeted and paid for all of them. God knew already what and when we would need that money. And now its gone:) It was so obvious that God was in charge the whole time.

He granted us safety, time, money, patience and the knowledge to deal.

I was continually reminded how thankful I am for a capable husband. He is my best. He looked at me last Wednesday night and said this wouldn't be the date I would have chosen to take you on. I had literally just been been praying to God and thanking him for such an amazing companion. It doesn't matter what we are doing I just like being with him.

And now for the pics.

Me right before I started the demo. Before the knowledge of the nightmare.



Me with the knowledge of the nightmare.


Where there wasn't wet rot there was dry rot.


Six layers of floor. One of which was cardboard scraps screwed into the subfloor layer beneath.


The wreckage pile was taller than me.


The new floor.


We invented a new olympic sport called joist balancing. It includes a crowbar and rickety old joists.


Not really an OSHA approved work environment.


This was right before we broke that pipe you see towards the bottom of the photo. That was real exciting:)


New subfloor....YAY!


New floor floor. I can't tell you how much you appreciate this after having to rip one out. I think this was at about 1 in the morning:)


New tub. Did I mention the previous bath tub installers bolted the bathtub to the wall. So there was no way to remove it carefully...hence the ripping and tearing of the old one. IT was awesome folks.


Shower doors. Oh and the Brewer he was a big help.


New vanity.


The beginnings of some storage. Welcome to IKEA the land of 6 billion tiny pieces.


I put it together all by myself and it appears that it will stay together.


And a new shelf that is not hanging crooked although the picture makes it look that way.



The one thing that stayed the same was the toilet we managed to save that:)

Oh and what caused the leak you ask? An improperly installed bathtub drain.

First day of 2nd and 4th grade.

First day of school today. Everyone was excited. We "got" to have a sleep over at grans last night... All of us and that proved to be fun and new for the first day of school. That is why their picture is taken at my moms instead of our house.

Why did we sleepover the night before the first day of school... All of us. Well let's just say the Jagers had to evacuate their house yesterday and won't be moving back in for a few days. Another post on that later.

But for now I can't believe how big these two are their backpacks actually look proportionate to their bodies this year:)

Reflections and Such.

We have spent a lot of time on the water of the last few days. As you know the water speaks to my sole. I grew up on it. Boats and fishing and crabbing and more fishing that was part of my growing up. The water was something I not only loved but respected. It is something that makes me excited but also terrifies me.

On Saturday Brian had to work in Friday Harbor and he was going to take the boat across instead of the ferry. Not our boat. My inlaws bought another boat a couple of months ago to fill the void of their missing big boat that din't make it into the water this year. My father in law not only allows us to use it pretty much whenever but insisted that we all know the ins and outs of running it. It has been more than fun. But back to Saturday. Seeing as the kids and I had no plans...this never happens and it was over the top beautiful out we decided to invite ourselves along. Yep it was apparently take your family to work day for the Beejer.

Onto the deep stuff. For some reason over the last couple of years I have developed a moderate to severe case of anxiety induced PTSD. You may laugh or tell me it can't be but there is no other way to describe it. The last few years of being a mom has shown me how scary it can be and one day I became the nervous nelly I never wanted to turn into. My kids stand on something tall I 'm afraid they are going to fall and break their faces open (cause it happened), They run ahead of me I'm afraid I 'm am going to lose them (because that happened), so you get the picture. So the boat it freaks me out. I brace my entire body in away in which it can not be jostled and I try to keep one hand on a child at all times. In my opinion when we left on Saturday it could take us 4 hours to get there if it meant we were slow going and no one was going to fall off. In all reality no one was going to fall off and we were going to fine. You see all the bad scary stuff that has happened to my kids has turned out fine. God was there every time teaching me that he would be there , teaching me that he always is with my kids and with me. Protecting us and providing for us.

So why am I so scared?

On the way home from Friday Harbor I asked my self that question, over and over. When did this start? Why? It turns out I should tell you I like to be in control. Its a sin. Its part of who I am but its a sin and I need to fix it. I need to let go. I need to let God. And I need to realize what I know to be true will always be as such. He will always be with us, and he will always protect us. He allows us to experience hard things to teach us how to handle whats to come and it is good for us. Me worrying is not fun for me or anyone else. It is stressful and painful and such.

The other thing I know about myself is that I like to do things right, I have a fear of screwing this mom thing up. It is big and it is real for me. I want my kids to grow up in an environment in which they feel safe and loved, cared for and supported in. I want them to grow up happy and sure. I want them to have a family they can be proud of. Oh boy am I humbled in this daily. I so don't have this thing figured out and I am learning daily raising my kids has so little to do with my decisions and so much to do with my obedience and faith in God. If I worry less and trust more it goes so much smoother.

As I got off of the boat on Saturday I realized how wonderful the day had been. The kids and I I had lunch together. We played a new game while we waited for Beej to be finished. And we even had ice cream. God had provided us with sun in the sky to warm our backs and melt our cones. And I thought to myself as my feet hit the ground and we were all safe....even if we hadn't been I am so incredibly blessed beyond measure. Blessings come in all different shapes and sizes you just have to give yourself a chance to see them as such.

When we got on the boat on Monday to drop the crab pots Brian said oh I think you are starting to like this. I liked it before I just had a new perspective:)

Speaking of anxiety and control we put the kids in school and they start tomorrow. I feel reassured this will be the best for them no matter how this situation of moving turns out. My new thought is normalcy is the best way to keep sanity. So for now we are approaching things with the mentality that we aren't going anywhere. I went and paid our deposit yesterday and was met in the halls of our beautiful little school with smiles from our teachers and true words of care and concern over our situation. Words of,"we will keep you as long as we can." Questions that apply personally to my kids from people who love them for who they are. This school has been a blessing through this time just as it has proven to be over the last 5 years. I am convinced it is the best place for my kids. So tomorrow we head into convocation-the best start to anyones school year- and give our school year to God. I will likely shed a few tears not because I am worried or sad but because I am so thankful my kids can go into a school year with these thoughts fresh in their minds with the idea that their lives belong to something so much bigger then themselves.

My Grace

I just love my girl.

We went to get her hair trimmed for school last night and she told my sister she wanted bangs just like her mom:) Melt me.



Her hair is so blonde from the sun you can hardly see it.

I can't believe she is going to be in second grade this year. No longer my baby but always my baby all at the same time.

I mean I can still remember when she had no hair at all.

What a pretty baby. Don't you just want to eat those cheeks? I mean really.



And Mr. Jager if you are reading this....we made some really cute babies don't you think? Your dimple genes and your cheek genes were really the best addition in my opinion!

Where I let it all hang out....

This is where I tell you ever so not gently what has been on the top of my anxiety list lately.

School starts next week and my kids are not enrolled. Yep that's right. Not enrolled. I have not paid my deposit - although it is tucked away along with first months tuition, where I shall spend it is yet to be determined.

This is where I tell you we have been contemplating a move and I have trusted that God would make the decision for us by the end of the month. Yet alas it is nearly the end of the month and no decision has been made. In fact I am so confused and conflicted that I could throw up. And this is where I am not it isn't when is say but when he does.


The move is not the part that is scary. Nope I am at peace about it and feel like if it is Gods will we will go and life will be great. If we stay same thing different geography.

Its been difficult. We have had people react in so many different ways. Some helpful some not some supportive some selfish. All are fine I would be lying to say the possibility didn't stir up about a million different emotions inside me.

Many of you know we contemplated a job in Alaska last year to have it be put on the back burner. I was secretly elated with that happening:). THe new job is in Spokane...which is great for a number of reasons. Closeness to home. Still in WA. I guess those are the main benefits. The job would be a promotion and that isn't just good for Brian that's good for all of us.

I have had many questions what about your business what about your job what about church. Yep what about it I have no idea and these questions aren't helpful. If you didn't know this already now you do. I don't know any of the answers and feel the need to trust now more than ever. I have been called to be at peace more times than not in the last month and it is an act of faithfulness for sure. My reocurring thought is I dont but God does....in fact he already knows how it is going to turn out. Every time I worry I say that over and over I dont know but God does. It is so reassuring. It helps me to push the tears back and lift up my shoulders and my chin and move forward. This doesn't mean I haven't cried quite a few tears over this or been frustrated or anxious.



So I have to decide by Monday what we are doing about school. If we choose to go business as usual and put them in their school here and find out 3 weeks later we are moving that is a whole lot of dollars gone. But if we don't send them and have to wait for another three weeks to find out where we will be living my kids will miss all that school and that doesn't seem like the right option either. And there is the opiton of us not moving at all, which is fine, and then we waited for nothing. I am praying hard...real hard. And don't suggest homeschooling God did not create me for such a task:).

Ultimately we are so incredibly thankful for Brian's job and his ability to even be presented with such a dilemma. We are humbled to have these kinds of "problems.". My other favorite thing to remember is that even 6 weeks of uncertainty is but a blippit in eternity. Soon enough we will know the way and we will be obedient in it.

Now you know I'll keep you posted. We have been praying for the outcome to be a reflection of gods will and not our own. If your choose to pray us would you pray the same.

Now as my mom would say to be Fred. I have been up since daybreak cooking and it is now midnight. I'm exhausted. It is so nice to finally get this off my chest though.

It Pays to Play.

Here is a chance for you to win one of my oh so delicious chocolate chiffon pies . Every last bit of made my two hands. Home Made folks.

How do you win?

Tell me how much these three bags of groceries cost me today for a job in the moo.

The only hint I will give you is I beat my record on cost of three bags of groceries today and shocked myself. The checker herself could not believe the total.



And yes I buy graham crackers and yes I prefer name brand it makes a difference. Its the only way to go with chocolate chiffon pie. Some would argue a pastry crust but they are wrong:)

Okay so if you win I will hand deliver a pie. Closest person wins but must be within $10.

Its Not All About Food.

Sometimes its about fun times with friends.



Enough Said.


I just love these kids!