My Gracie Girl Turned 5....

I can't believe it....my baby is five years old. Its exhilarating and excruciating all at the same time. Its always funny to me how you can actually watch them grow a year older in the weeks leading up to their birthdays. Their language changes, their abilities grow and their view of the world gets a little bit bigger.

I love having a little girl! She is my partner in crime and my team mate in all things.

She chose to get a pedicure for her birthday this year and as superficial as a pedicure may be we had a wonderful time. Just a girl and her mom enjoying being girls and loving up on each other. I wish I would have taken pictures of her getting the pedicure the pumice stone scrub through over the edge and the air was filled with precious giggles from my beautiful 5 year old girl. After that we shared lunch and a milk shake at Colophon Cafe. I asked her over lunch what she thought about being five and her reply was, "So far its pretty great!"

The things about Grace that remain the same from year to year are her need to be Grace, an individual, not one who conforms to what anyone else wants at this point. She is not my people pleaser...you always know where you stand. She is never luke warm always hot or cold. She is beautiful and cheerful and just an absolute perfect part of our family. Brian jokes that she is just like me and I suppose he is right in a lot of ways. Although I wish I could have been more like her as a child, so confident and sure.

This year she was awarded the most cheerful dancer award at the end of the ballet season. And this is a great way to describe her. Cheerful, she is for the most part easy going laid back and ready for the next shenanigan at all times.

I love you my Gracer Girl!! You are beautiful in more ways than one and I can't wait to see what God has in store for you!

I didn't go to my high school reunion and everything I did do.

This weekend held celebration of my 10 year reunion. I will pause while all my friends who don't know my age gasp at how young I am............Pause...........................
Now that that is done I can tell you I didn't go for at least 12 reasons, most of which I don't really want to blog about. I had several old friends call and ask where I was however I could not get over the idea of the reunion being held at Silver Reef Casino. The other night was graduates only at a bar in Lynden. I am not opposed to going out and having a drink however I would never go to a bar alone without my husband....so there that's one reason. Number 2 I wasn't sure that hanging out in these places would represent what I stand for very well and I would be in mixed company so I decided that also made it a no. A number 3 reason was my senior year I didn't really gel with my class much which means most of my friends were from LC. Number 4 I was very busy running a food booth for Ebenezer so I really had no time to get dressed up and go anywhere. So there are 4 of my 12 reasons. There is always the 20 year and if it seems like the right thing to do then I will do it.

What I have been doing is food, catering that is. I have been working so much its crazy. Last week we had several Drs meals, a wedding,and a philanthropists conference for Western. I felt like food was coming out of my ears but it was actually very satisfying at the end of the day. At the close of the philanthropist event, over the sounds of philanthropizing, whale music and storytelling I was able to take a step back and realize that God was using me in that place, He was using all of my passions and gifts at the same time that evening... it was wonderful! The very next day I started preparing for the madness of food booth. The food never stops but its good.

Next week the Jagers are going on vacation and although we are still up in the air about the location I know that it will be full of relaxation. I requested we go somewhere that requires not much more than bathing suits, sunscreen, and sand buckets...but only time will tell. I can't wait to spend a whole week with no cell phone reception (this is the only time cooperate cell phone man ignores his phone). Btu mostly I am excited to spend some us 4 Jager time with my favorite little people.

The Picture In My Mind...

Forgive the picture scanning once again or lack there of. And disregard whatever is happening in the right hand side of the picture. Not much to say about that.

I woke up with this picture in my mind this morning. And the picture represents both things that I hold dear today. My precious baby boy...now not so baby as he officially turned 7 today. And my amazing husband who became a Father 7 years ago on this day. Both events require celebration.

Elliot turning 7 is surreal. I can very vividly remember the day he was born. I remember looking into his tiny face in complete awe of what God used my body to create. Elliot is the most loving, fun, smart, brilliant in more than one way and a complete lover of Gods world and his little life. He teaches me daily of about what is important. He told me the other day his heart was to big for his body...wonder where he gets this from. We have had the nicest conversations lately and not all of them have been life changing but they have all been tucked in my heart because it is so nice to hear him talk about what he feels and thinks and enjoys and detests. Its just nice to conversate because we can because he is 7 and 7 is a pretty big deal. I get the complete joy of hearing him pray before bed every night, much of what he prays about is the same from night to night but he always has a key point, sometimes it is a thanks God for loving me or please be with Grandma because Grandpas gone, or thanks for making me so good at legos (classic at least he is thankful), or please forgive us for damaging your world (a new favorite), but the other day he chose to pray for me as I was laying next to him on his bed. He thanked God for me and asked Him to be with me as I cooked for for lots and lots of people:)

What a blessing you are to me my monkey....Your mom loves you more than you know. And7 years ago I had no idea what a blessing you would be to me in so many ways.

The second part of the picture in my mind this morning was my Husband. I can still remember the look on his face this very first time he held Elliot in his arms. It was as if the whole world had stopped and every fear he had of being a dad just melted into a puddle on the floor. And this is the moment that I knew for the rest of forever there would never be anything that would get in between our little family and this man. My children have a dad that loves more than they ever could imagine and it is an amazing and beautiful thing to be able to witness!!

Babe you are an amazing Dad are kids are blessed to have you. And I am blessed to have as a partner in the crazy parenting universe.

Sometimes you just have to trust...

I am going to write about something that is personal. Something that you can not understand unless you have been through it yourself. And the only reason I must write about it is to remember how God is pulling me through. I pray so desperately that at some point I will be able to praise Him for it. Lately I have been reminding myself that God knew the day we would be born and he knows the day he will take us home and nothing can change that because he is in ultimate control.

I have been watching someone i love deal with an eating disorder. Most people understand this in a very stereotypical way. They automatically assume it is because of vanity or an unrealistic view of their body, however this is really not true in most eating disorder cases. It is control and entitlement that roots itself in someones soul and literally strangles it until there is nothing to hold onto. From the outside looking in it is excruciating to watch especially if you love the person. To watch someone that you root your identity with disappear and turn into something that you can't even begin to recognize is truly one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. To worry day in and day out that this may be the day you have to say good-bye is unsettling. To watch them have major organs removed because they are being eaten alive is unfathomable. To listen to a conversation about nutrition in order for the said person to even be able to heal from surgery is horrible when you know they won't do it. To watch people judge, hear people criticize and listen to people make the situation into something that makes them more comfortable is maddening. To see others look at her with pity and sorrow makes me angry because I want to see hope in their eyes. To not have any way to make it better or fix it and be forced to watch the train wreck is at sometimes abusive. To have all this in the back of my head but most of time at the forefront is exhausting.

So this time, in this circumstance, I just have to trust because it is the only thing that brings me even the tiniest bit of peace. Because everything else is just constant chaos. My God is in control and He loves this person more than I do and He loves me too.

And to this person....you are so much more than just a person. I hope someday you will be with me looking back on this Hell and praising God for pulling us through. I love you!

Our Very Last Preschool Field Trip.

It didn't rain today so we ended up being able to go on the annual Hovander Park Field Trip. I was so happy for Grace because I believe devastation would have hit if we would have had to cancel.

They played games, had a picnic, fed the animals, searched for frogs, payed on the playground and climbed up into the famous Hovander Tower.

It was fun , it was lovely, and it was a bit emotional as we will be waving goodbye to the preschool chapter of our lives. It is wonderful though my kids are healthy and growing and that is a true blessing. I am so thankful I could experience this one last field trip with Grace. She is such a friendly little thing, she is friends with everyone and has nicknames for everyone and it is quite adorable.

Impromptu Seattle Trip.

After Church yesterday we were able to take a unexpected trip to Seattle with the family today. Nicole is here visiting with Nick and his parents. We went to the market and enjoyed a nice dinner at Spaghetti Factory.

The kids love their Bubba (their name for nicole) so it was nice to be able to spend the day with her.

I can report that we had wonderful behavior which provided for a very fun day for everyone.

Thanks for the Great Day Everyone It Was A Memory Maker!

Cutest Red Robin You Ever Did See.

Grace had her first dress rehearsal for her recital on Saturday. It was so cute to see a bunch of red feathery sequined robins running around around the room.