Thursday, August 12, 2010

What do you want?

I was able to sum up what I wanted in life in a hour the evening I had my first pseudo unintentional re-date with BJ. After dinner with Kristin he somehow invited himself over to my apartment, asked me what I wanted out of life, what my ten year plan was and if I wanted to date him again. I gave him long answers to the first two questions and a simple no to the last one. It is funny now but I thought it was odd in the beginning.

What I told him is what really makes me happy, because over the last few days I realize what I wanted has been given to me by the grace of God, and all I want to do now is say Thank You.

When he asked what I wanted out of life I answered with....I want to find my best friend get married make an agreement to never even mention the "d" word, and make another agreement to raise kids that can be happy because their world is happy and at the end of the night go to bed thanking God for everything I have because he is the one who has given all of those things to me.....and that was that. My answer to the 10 year plan is the same answer I would give today...whats a ten year plan...doesn't a ten minute plan sound much better?

We have been part of a Sunday School class over the summer titled Love and Respect. It addresses the whole battle of the sexes topic from a christian perspective, talking about our differences being just that differences and not as positives or negatives. The pastor talks a lot about how women need love and men need respect and how the two things react to each other in a unique cycle. That is all the explaining I will do on the subject, however I will say if you haven't had the joy of being a part of one of these classes you should do it, it has been life changing. Anywho...last weeks session I found very intriguing in a few different ways...he spent a lot of time talking about heaven and our salvation in relationship to our marriages and I suppose it could apply to most any relationship in your life actually, well I am a daydreamer...and I immediately started thinking about heaven. I must admit that heaven has become much more real to me in the past few years. I have actually experienced death in our family in many ways especially in the last year which has led me to think of it on a personal level. Not that I haven't done this before. But I have been more worried about being ready and what that entails and what it doesn't. Well the pastor from the video series asked what would you say to God? And immediately I thought, Thank You. And then not right at that moment but later I thought about why that phrase popped into my head and then I cried and then I thought of the following list.

Thank You for giving me all my hearts desires and then some. Thank You for hand delivering to me my best friend who is my greatest companion on this earth. Thank you for being ever so present that I can see you moving throughout my every waking moment. Thank You for lending me two beautiful kids that I can watch grow and see learning to love and trust you, children who are happy because we are truly happy. Thank You that I am able to be happy. Thank You that I can go to bed every night praising you for all that you do. Thank you for all that I am sure you have planned for me yet to experience. Thank you for your grace so I can continue to move forward and not look behind.

Thank You.

I don't know how it will actually be when I get there or when any of us get there but if I do get to say something, Thank You will be it!

What I want out of life now is much the same....happiness is a common theme, I could write a whole post on that topic alone. Its what I grew up wanting and its what I have........


Julie said...

So beautiful, Jessica. Your attitude of gratitude to God shows in all you do.

Jeff and Andrea Ashmore Family said...

I love your posts, Jess.
You have many blessings!