Thursday, October 25, 2012

What an amazing couple of weeks.

I have learned in the last couple of weeks that God's blessings do not always meet where we are most comfortable. Sometimes he asks us to move. This doesn't always mean physically, although it does for us Jagers this time. He has asked us to move out of our comfort, away form our loved ones and on to new territory.

I have run through a whole gamete of emotions this week as we have packed up the last 7 years of our lives living in our little blue house. I have thrown things away, given things away, stowed things away and wished at times I didn't have to do any of these things with our things:) I have struggled with sadness, as I am not sure how one properly says good-bye to a house that has given you so much. I have struggled with being angry that everything has had to happen so quickly and I can't seem to find time to properly enjoy these last couple of weeks here. Fear in what is to come. Excitement for what is to come. Thankfulness in the many blessing we have experienced already in our obedience to trust and follow God in what he has planned for us. Weariness, pain, happiness, joyfulness, gratefulness, and oh yeah Sadness again. I have walked around with a sob in my throat all day. Not wanting to rest in one spot for to long in the fear of it being to comfortable, giving the sob permission to jump from my body and make itself known. Believe me I have let it out a number of times and it is never pretty. I have hugged friends that I know I will see again, hugged some that I am not sure how our paths will possibly cross again and said goodbye to the normal rhythm in which we see each other at all. I have struggled with saying good bye at school almost the most, Ebenezer will always remain a part of our hearts and I will always think of it as a place filled with good people that loved my kids how God intended. In fact in searching for a school I looked for things that reminded me of "us", the word I use to refer to my fellow lemon squeezers. Thankfully I can report that I think I found one that is very close to resembling this happy place.

I know that Gods will is not only with me now but in front of me as we trudge on, He has made it very apparent that we are doing as He has planned. In 10 days time, we found a house, a school, sold a car, found renters for our house, packed up, made two trips to Spokane (soon to be 3) and had 4 going away parties and guess what we are living and well and still breathing after all of it. Each time we have thanked God for going before us and I hope we never stop.

This has not been easy, believe me I have had many moments of struggle with my own self control and emotion. Moments of feeling sorry for myself and being angry at anything that moved. But for the most part I just feel thankful. I feel peace. In fact anytime I am alone I pray, it brings me comfort.

Its the last night the four of us will sleep under this roof together. When we moved in we had a just about 1 year old and a 3 year old. Times were different and lovely in their own right. I can't help but notice how much we all have grown in our first real home. How much we have experienced. And how much we have loved inside this house not only each other but others too. We have allowed it to become our nest, a clubhouse to some and a place that many say feels like home to them. Its where I think I became an adult, I figured out what marriage was and where I fell in love with my job...being a Mom. God used it to heal my heart, yep he used a house, something that is made of wood and walls. We have poured our blood, sweat and tears, oh and cash ...lots of it, into it and we are better for it.

I will miss it here but I can't move forward and stay right where I am. So onward....Spokane it is.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Found it

Heading to Spokane

Going to find us a house today. Or at least a nice alley with prearranged cardboard boxes.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


Some funny stuff has been happening around these parts.

Number one- When I reminded the kids last night that my Grandma was moving with us...the first comments were directed towards having her baking skills added to the mix. The next comment from my son was....I hope grandma doesn't snore. Apparently he thought we would be moving into a three bedroom house, like we have now, and that they would have bunk beds together. He was happy to hear that Grandma would have her own room. Some things get lost in translation.

Some things are sweet.

One of Elliot's classmates tapped me on my arm this morning tapped me on the back of the arm and said my mom and I are praying for you. Queue the tears, we are so blessed by our school and my kids have been so blessed by their classmates. It reminded me what a blessing it is to hear that someone is praying for reminded me to tell people that more.

Some things are miraculous.

Every time someone asks what they can pray for I say a renter. As in a renter for our house. And not just any renter...a nice conservative responsible renter. One that will not run over the lovely little cherubs in my neighborhood, or have loud parties or wreck and destroy my beautiful home.
Well last night there was a knock on my door and the fiance of a girl that lives in the apartments next door is relocating and looking for a house. To top it off the rent is the same as he pays now. On Friday we will find out if he is going to take it for sure. Please continue to pray for this.

Some things are the bomb.

I have reports that Lorraine Bajema's fudge sauce does indeed travel over mountain passes:) Winning, Two fist pumps for that!

Tomorrow I travel to find a house with the Rah. The kids are voting for a house with a pool. I am voting for a house with more than one bathroom and closets:)

Monday, October 15, 2012

And its happening.

We Are Moving.

Spocompton, Spokississippi....Spokane will be our new home. It is going to take a bunch more faith and quick work but it will happen.

Not my will but His

As I sit and write I am eating a piece of cold pizza and pondering the thought of needing to be at work in an hour with not much planned to teach and wondering how the heck I ended up with the pizza in my hand. I have spent the morning looking through things. Traffic Lights are there but I find my self looking f=down the road. We pull up at school and the thought of not doing that anymore seems so absurd. I track each step wondering not only how many more times I will be able to experience it again but what my new steps will look like. The wonder is the most terrifying yet exciting thing thing right now. The Bitter and Sweet continue on.

I want to relay that in the last year and a half I have learned what it means to pray for God's will and I feel much different about it now. Praying for God's will means leaving your own aside, it means having the guts to follow where he leads, it means praying for blessings and knowing that God will bless you in the way that works best for His plan for you. It doesn't mean bless me here in my current situation surrounded by all the greatest means stepping out in faith and being obedient to move into Gods created comforts. This is what the Jager's are doing....I have a hard time thinking these next two weeks will not be some of the hardest days yet. I bundled myself into the fetal position on our shoe bench last Sunday afternoon and cried knowing it was last time all of my homies would all be together around the table in my favorite room in my house (the dining room) eating food that I prepared and laughing about things only we would find funny our home has become a is everything I ever prayed for it to be. I say all this though and I can assure you I am so not okay (I think that is important thing to say out loud), yet in the back, in the center of my mind , in the center of my heart I have a never ending peace that is so hard to explain. I know we are moving forward as God intends and that is where the peace comes from. I know after the band aid is completely torn off I will be able to move forth with strength and purpose.

I told my kids last night with complete certainty that we were making decisions for our family that were complete in what we felt God's purpose for us to be in this time, I followed it by telling them that we are each a part of the family so that it means it is the best for each of us separately as well. I am praying that they too can learn about faith through this situation and possibly God would allow me to teach them a bit in it.

But in the mean time...there will be tears, and stomach churning, and denial at times. But I pray we will find time to really be thankful for what we have had and be thankful for what is to come.

Friday, October 12, 2012

We are in Spokane.

At 11am yesterday Brian found out he had an interview to be at in Spokane at 10 an today. Due to happy circumstances of a wedding we are involved in for friends we had to drive to get back in time tonight.

It's been a crazy less than 24 hours. Brian has been up since 4:30am preparing his interview presentation which is fairly intense.

This post will be fairly bare bones u just wanted to get the word out.

We are so thankful to be involved in this next step. We are also exhausted I have been up since 4:30 as well praying for peace and energy for him.

Speaking of praying though I can't tell you how grateful I am for all the people who are praying for us in this situation. I could feel that peace wrap around me last night. And once we were on the road I was able to be calm collective and supportive for our journey. I attempted to count all of the people I know that are praying and I stopped at 35 I know there are many more. I feel blessed and overwhelmed by this realization. Thank you all for the texts and emails, phone calls and has been amazing.

On the topic of amazing blessings we are blessed with great friends. Look what the Rah sent us while on the road yesterday. I just love her.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

701....This is my 701st post.

Number 701 homies.

What better to celebrate than some Random McRandomness.

In case you were wondering Joshy is stil the cutest of the cute and I have attempted to eat with a spoon on more than one occasion.

Elliot was successful in teaching me to play chess but by the look on his face you can probably tell what the outcome of the game was.
He beat me badly twice. So I made the logical choice to challenge him in checkers and beat him 3 times:)

Grace set up a flower stand at my moms and charged us all a dollar for each bouquet. Vases were extra for everyone but my dad. Yeah not sure how he sweet talked her.

Mr. Husband got a new car to hopefully get him to and from the big city a little more safely.
I call it Buddy Brian says it should be called Cooper. A name has not been settled on yet. In other news it is so fun to drive and I am positive that a speeding ticket wil be obtained before the end of the year.

The 2nd and 3rd grade families went on a camping trip together last weekend. It was all sorts of fun. I think we had 20 plus kids.
This is some of the girls. Aren't they adorbs. I braided all of their hair late on in the day. I was in heaven!

Elliot and the boys rebuilt a fort. There were also lots of legos, Risk, bike riding, and the like.

The girls collected rocks, shells and the like to paint back at camp. That provided hours of fun.


We had an amazing time. So much fun with friends. Everyone was so laid back. TI was pretty close to perfect.

And that about sums it up. I am off to teach 45 young minds this morning. We are attempting to learn about digestion. Its been interesting.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Inner Happenings

Sunday morning was a wonderful thing. Sometimes you walk in with a chip on your shoulder and leave as light as a cloud. That was how it was for me. We started singing and the set was so amazing. I have felt the spirit move me much lately. In fact it as him he is constantly hovering over my heart, it is overwhelming and comforting all in one. But Sunday morning was different, I could feel it, and then I felt a little tap on my arm. When I looked over my sweet son is looking at me with his eyes full of tears and says to me, "Mom it feels different I don't know why I am crying." Mercy be every word after that was like none I had ever sung. My son was feeling the Holy Spirit for the first time and I was blessed enough to see it. We prayed a prayer with our hands raised and I could here my sons word completely heart felt repeating, Yes Lord.....Yes Father. I'm telling you if you want to bring a mama to her knees that was it.

This feeling of the spirit though is something that at times is all that is getting me through the last couple of weeks. I have had one evening where Brian sent me out of the house, coffee in hand, wearing yoga pants and a t shirt no less in search of solace, I needed to find some peace I was a mess. I have had many of heart felt conversations with Brian about our current situation and the lack of knowledge in it. These conversations are not only sad it is exciting as well to be presented with a new adventure that is possibly all set up for you. We have discussions of blessings and the feeling of gratitude for a God that already knows the plans he has for us. Boy do we have a lot to be thankful for.

I never want anyone to think for a second that I am not incredibly thankful for being presented with the opportunity we have been with Brian's job. It is unbelievable to be able to have your husband be great at his job and love it as well but in addition I have been able to watch others recognize him for his gifts and in turn seen him be incredibly humble in it all it is a beautiful thing. I am thankful for this man. I am thankful for a job that provides and gives fulfillment to my husband. Our blessings are abundant and our troubles are few.

In the last week I have heard 3 different locations mentioned in reference to my life. This has undone me. Each time I take a deep breath in and quickly whisper, God knows.
It is hard this trusting thing, having the faith that you know to be true. Not only talking the talk but walking the walk is a tough pill to swallow. But I am so close to my Father in heaven right now and I am so thankful for the knowledge that I am not in charge of my life and the One who is fully capable.

So Friday Brian had an interview and it went really well, bittersweet. Today he has a big day and if I could ask you to pray for him, I would be forever grateful he could sure use it. He is meeting with a bunch of the heads of his company to present them with an app he created for cell phones pertaining to his current position, he has already had some amazing recognition for this. After that he was invited to another meeting with people who hold titles much bigger than his, he has no idea what it is about or why he was invited his direct boss will not even be there. And then he has an interview with the head of HR....last time the interview was with and HR mignon again we aren't sure why it is this way. Thats three overwhelming meetings in which he has no idea the purpose or the outcome. I am praying for faith, comfort and courage. And although I knew he was nervous this morning, he left our home this morning assuring me that it would all be okay.

The uncertainty is a blessing and a curse at times. But I know with all my heart that GOd's will will prevail and in the end the Jager's will continue on in the same way we always do. As I tell my kids we can walk ahead with our heads lifted high because we serve someone so much greater than this world who lives is our hearts and controls ours lives, protecting and guiding, loving and correcting. Its a beautiful life, this one!