I need to write today.......

I have been teaching my sunday school kids about their light lately. It is something that has been on my mind personally and whenever I feel like God is resting something on me I try to let trickle into every corner of life to in way I guess try the certain theme or idea on for size. Sort of like when you buy a new sweater that you are not sure fits quite right, you know the one that you don't even really wear for awhile you simply try it on and place it back on the shelf waiting for when it feels right (ok this might just be me). Anyway that is kind of what this idea has been like trying it on taking it off trying it on taking it off again and finally it fits it feels like a sweater I have had for years you know the one with a hole that you try to creatively hide because it is so comfortable in your opinion the tiny hole or snag only makes it better. Not sure where the reference of the sweater keeps coming from but its workin' for me(must be fall).

Anyway, with this specific theme I wanted to know so badly why it was pressing tighter and tighter, so every time I teach we sing the famous tune, this little light of mine and I talk to the kids about their light, What their light looks like, what it feels like, how we can use it to glorify God. I am not sure how much of it they have caught but sometimes you are teaching for the future. Sometimes you have to teach and hope their is nugget of truth that sticks for later down the road. And all I know is that God is using it.

You see not coming from a Christian background with strong Christian School roots all I have learned about the Bible and God has come in the last 15 years really. I learned a bit in Awana as a kid and I knew John 3:16 frontwards and back before I even knew what it really meant. But most of my walk has been real, has been more out of need than tradition, more out of surviving than existing and I am finally really coming to appreciate that. I remember being terrified to start teaching Sunday school 7 years ago because I thought these kids know this stuff better than me. But now I know that to be true in most all areas having two of my own kids. And what I know more now is that God uses everything He has given me, not everything he has given everyone else. My walk is not just personal to me it is personal to Him because it was what He created! That being said I can tell you the rest of this story.

Well I think my lessons of light have finally spoke to me as well. I think God was not so much trying to show me what my light was or what brings it to full capacity. Although I did learn about that too. I think he was trying to show me more what gets in the way of it shining as brightly as it can. I think that while God is busy clothing you with blessings Satan is trying to tell you that you need another sweater. That you don't have enough that you need more. I think I have struggled with that lately in my business actually I know this. I know while God was blessing me with the light only He can supply when I am elbow deep in butter in flour, Satan was busy trying to tell me well if you would do A or B this could be bigger, money could be more, your name would be spread, your blessings will be multiplied. And I can tell you that this wanting these desires, were not of God and they were starting to dim my light. The stress and anxiety that came with these thoughts and ideas and "dreams" was suffocating me.

So after much prayer and soul searching I realized what this journey of "light" was all about. It was about being content, about realization, about thankfulness and living in the moment. As soon as I dropped the idea it was as if 50,000 pounds were lifted from my shoulders and a wonderful person reminded me that was the feeling that only God can give PEACE.

My light shines in doing for others not doing for myself. And in doing for others I can serve God and Acts of Service is where my light lies, where it shines really.

And so I realize we really all are Children of God and that never really doesn't ever stopping being true. And that is why I love that when I am teaching all of those cute little faces on Sunday mornings God sneaks some lessons in for me as well. He is not into Waste Management is what Beth Moore says and i think she is right!