I have been blessed not once but twice. I count my two precious children as the greatest blessings I have ever been given. God has given me the opportunity to love beyond my wildest dreams and entrusted me with His own. Over the last 24 hours I have been completely fixated on the thought that God has entrusted me with two of His creations and that it is completely up to me to trust in Him enough to hopefully raise them up in the way he sees fit.
We had a wonderful sermon yesterday that focused on quite a few points of mothering, one was prayer. I am not sure that before I was pregnant with my first child that I had ever prayed for one person so much. I feel as if I am constantly praying for one of them. The feeling that a mother has for their child is not one that can be explained its only one that can be given with the arrival of the little one. I remember wondering when I was pregnant with Grace if I would have enough concern and care for both of them and I prayed about that enough to write a 300 page journal I am sure. But its is so amazing that as soon as you lay your eyes on them the first time that love is sign, sealed and delivered. This is nothing short of a miracle that I believe God sends each of us. The prayers I pray for them are also something that is hard to explain, a lot of mornings as I pull out of the Ebenezer paring lot I am praying for little things such as Elliot will eat his sandwich at lunch or that he will be kind to his friends and show love to his teacher. Or that he will remember ti hold still during carpet time. For Grace it is usually that she will save her attitude for appropriate moments (I know right), or that she will remembering the smile God provides her with when she chooses to share. This love this concern this care is something I am not so much plagued with but blessed with daily.
I don't ever worry about what my children will become. However I do pray constantly that they will be kind people that love the Lord and strive to do His will in this crazy world. I pray that they will choose spouses that love and respect and care for them in a way that suits their needs. I pray that they will remember that no matter what they choose we will be right here to offer the support they need. I pray that I will remember even when they are near 30yrs old they still need a mom sometimes. And I pray that the love I provide them with will help them to be confident in who they are because they know they were handmade by a loving Father to be exactly what he wanted them to be (I pray this the most).
I was thankful yesterday that as I was leading worship with Brian that I could look out into the front pew and see a little 6 year old boy raising his hands up to our Heavenly Father. I am so thankful that I can already see God fashioning them into little Christians who love the Lord with a perfect faith that has not yet been tainted by the world, it is beautiful! It is a gift!! One that can never be wrapped in a package but one that will very much be wrapped within the walls of my heart for sometime!
Being mother is an amazing gift. I do not think it is one that you can ever be completely confident in. There is no financial paycheck, parking spot or corner office. But I know in my position there are two little people that i get watch grow upward, outward and inward and there is no salary that could match that.
I Am A Mother.