Graces Dance Recital "Let There Be..."

Graces performance date has been changed to June 20. This is also Elliots birthday and Fathers Day. We weren't very excited about the change but it had to happen so it is what it is. That being said it will be at 630 at Mt Baker theater. The tickets can be picked up at the theater or I will pick some up this friday if you let me know before then that you would like the tickets. They are 10 dollars.
To accommodate Elliots birthday I think we will try to go out for dinner before the show to celebrate him turning 7.
So let me know...its going to be adorable Grace is going to a red robin complete with a feather tutu and a yellow sequin beak:)

This Love

I was 15 in this picture which makes Brian 16. Oh young love. What babies.
My scanner still isn't working so this will have to do.

This love is many things...but it is not perfect by definition. We argue, we complain, we don't always see eye to eye, we agree to disagree regularly, we forget to be thankful for what we have at times. But it is absolutely perfect by my definition. It is all the things I mentioned above and so much more. It is loving one another no matter what the day holds, it is looking at each other and recounting stories of our marriage that only we can relate to, only we can know every feeling each memory holds, only we can know all we have made it through. Only we can look to the heavens and thank God for carrying us through the last eight years.

I love my husband with every fiber of my being. I am thankful that God delivered to me the most perfect partner for my life. I lay my head down at night knowing that I will fall asleep laying next to the man I love most nights for the next 60 years or more maybe. It's fabulous, it's warm, it's safe, it's HOME.

It doesn't seem to matter how we spend our days, we need not do anything special by average standards. We can admire our children's sidewalk chalk drawings or laugh at the days elliotisms, we can talk for hours about how God is unrolling years and years worth of hopes and dreams right in front of us. It is completely wonderful!

This year has been full of hurts and a lot of sorrow and pain that I wish we could have done without. But it has also been so full of love and support from a man that loves me more than I deserve at times. He laughs at me when I am crabby and when I am really out of control he wraps me in a hug that I can not escape from until I agree to show him some sort of smile which usually turns into laughing. He smiles when I smile and laughs when I laugh. He reminds me when I forget to look up and I remind him as well. Team Jager has never been stronger and I know that it will only grow stronger with the years to come.

So this love is not perfect form the worlds standards but from mine it couldn't get any better. And today I feel like the most truly blessed woman on the face of the earth.

Happy 8th Anniversary Babe, you are the greatest Husband I could have ever dreamed of or imagined you are my prince charming and knight in shining armor.

What We Jagers Won't Do For Some Fun....

It all started with a noise. I heard for the first time 30 minutes or so before we actually identified where it was coming from. I chalked it up to the washing machine because it was running and the noise sounded like rushing water. The next time I heard it was about 30 minutes later as I laid down on the couch to watch some Myth Busters with my wonderful husband, "Is it raining?" I asked. Nope.....So I walked back to the laundry a second time because I thought to myself the washing machine can't still be running. Nope...it wasn't. But I could hear the sound of rushing water coming form the heater vent which means there was rushing water in the cellar and there should never be rushing water in the cellar (except for that one time....).

And the pictures show what we found. I may have said a few inappropriate words although at the time they seemed very appropriate. I can't tell you how much I love my husband in times of stress though, he and I make a pretty good team. He never yells or gets frustrated or stomps around really. We have this odd way of almost silently just getting down to business and taking care of whatever disaster has occurred at the time. And then after a few minutes we usually look at each other and laugh really hard and say it could have been so much worse. And it could have! Thank goodness I cleaned the cellar last summer for fear of this very thing happening and there were only a few cardboard boxes left. Nothing was severely damaged....I take that back a bit, the new flooring for the new dining room maybe slightly damaged we will see.?

So what happened a pipe burst, ruptured really and proceeded to dump hundreds of gallons of water into the cellar and there is no drain people. I found a hole in a corner so I created a push of sorts to shove water into the hole and eventually the water went away. When the push didn't work anymore I used a mop that worked pretty well too.

I am not sure there is a moral to the story. I did recite Romans 5: 1-5 out loud over and over during the clean up. It felt better to do this:) What can you do really?

Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of the waterfall in our basement before we shut it off. It was quite the sight.

The Jager Crazy Season Has Begun

From Mothers Day to September I feel bombarded. Holidays, the kids birthdays (need I remind you 12 days apart), Brians birthday, my birthday, our anniversary, summer vacation, VBS, Spring Recital, and tons of other things. And we are still in the middle of a remodel.

This usually translates into stress and a feeling that resembles being put into a washing machine during a spin cycle. After its over and school gets back into full swing I look back and think how did we make it out in one piece.

This year though I am going to attempt to enjoy each moment one at a time for what they are. Not worrying about whats to come, just soaking and basking in the joy that surrounds me. In preparation the kids have already agreed to share their friend parties this year. We will still celebrate each of them separately with family on their individual birthdays but I think 3 parties instead of 4 is just one way I can enjoy my life a little more. So Carnival Party it is complete with games, a cotton candy and party popcorn machine (thank you Verizon), a photo booth and face painting. Doesn't this sound like fun...oh and don't forget the 20+ kids running around my yard for 2 hours:) We have downsized on our anniversary this year by agreeing to forgo a trip and just enjoy a nice romantic dinner for two at a local restaurant. The other thing I am trying to do say no to some extras, I generally stink at this but I am praying that God can help me learn how this works. These three decisions have already helped me to breathe a little easier at night.

So stay tuned for all of the happy celebrations on our list over the next weeks to come. First stop our anniversary which is May 25...8 years "o" love.

Oh and by the way who doesn't want to just squeeze those little frosting covered cheeks. I can't believe my babies will be 5 and 7 this year:(:)

Backyard Dinner With My Baby and A Recipe For You!

I am planning on having a backyard dinner with Brian tonight after we put the kids to bed. I am making a very yummy man dinner that includes flank steak, potatoes, salad and a yummy berry, apricot and apple crisp.

We will be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary at the end of the month and it will be the first year we haven't gone away for the weekend leading up to it. There are about 12 reasons why it just won't work this year. So I thought maybe we could just celebrate throughout the month with some quiet dinners at home and maybe some romantic house remodeling together:) I think we are also planning on a nice dinner at a restaurant in town that I have been wanting to go to, but that will wait until our actual anniversary.

But the part of the post you are interested in is coming...the recipe.

It is my foolproof crisp recipe.

Angry Blueberry's Foolproof Crisp

1 cup quartered Strawberries
1/2 cup raspberries
1 cup apple roughly chopped
1/2 cup sliced re-hydrated apricots
I just soak mine in boiling water for 10-15 minutes
Mix these together
Make Sure You Spray Your 8x8 Really Well This Will Help You With Clean Up.
Here Are Your Ingredients You Can Use Frozen Fruit As Well. If You Choose To Use Frozen Make Sure You Use some Cornstarch To Cut Down On The Liquid.
Here Is What It Should Look Like Before You Add The Topping.
The Topping Is Equal Parts Brown Sugar, Flour, Oatmeal and Cold Cubed Butter. I Use 1/4 Cup Of Each And Then Sprinkle It Over The Top.
You Can Make It Ahead And Keep It In The Fridge Until Later. My Trick Is To Slip It Into The Oven When You Sit Down To Eat. This Way It Is Warm When You Are Ready To Dig In.

Bake At 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes

Feel Free To Top It With Ice Cream or Whipped Cream If You Like. Hope you Enjoy.
And Remember You Can Switch Up The Fruit To Use Whatever You Have On Hand.

I Am A Mother.

I have been blessed not once but twice. I count my two precious children as the greatest blessings I have ever been given. God has given me the opportunity to love beyond my wildest dreams and entrusted me with His own. Over the last 24 hours I have been completely fixated on the thought that God has entrusted me with two of His creations and that it is completely up to me to trust in Him enough to hopefully raise them up in the way he sees fit.

We had a wonderful sermon yesterday that focused on quite a few points of mothering, one was prayer. I am not sure that before I was pregnant with my first child that I had ever prayed for one person so much. I feel as if I am constantly praying for one of them. The feeling that a mother has for their child is not one that can be explained its only one that can be given with the arrival of the little one. I remember wondering when I was pregnant with Grace if I would have enough concern and care for both of them and I prayed about that enough to write a 300 page journal I am sure. But its is so amazing that as soon as you lay your eyes on them the first time that love is sign, sealed and delivered. This is nothing short of a miracle that I believe God sends each of us. The prayers I pray for them are also something that is hard to explain, a lot of mornings as I pull out of the Ebenezer paring lot I am praying for little things such as Elliot will eat his sandwich at lunch or that he will be kind to his friends and show love to his teacher. Or that he will remember ti hold still during carpet time. For Grace it is usually that she will save her attitude for appropriate moments (I know right), or that she will remembering the smile God provides her with when she chooses to share. This love this concern this care is something I am not so much plagued with but blessed with daily.

I don't ever worry about what my children will become. However I do pray constantly that they will be kind people that love the Lord and strive to do His will in this crazy world. I pray that they will choose spouses that love and respect and care for them in a way that suits their needs. I pray that they will remember that no matter what they choose we will be right here to offer the support they need. I pray that I will remember even when they are near 30yrs old they still need a mom sometimes. And I pray that the love I provide them with will help them to be confident in who they are because they know they were handmade by a loving Father to be exactly what he wanted them to be (I pray this the most).

I was thankful yesterday that as I was leading worship with Brian that I could look out into the front pew and see a little 6 year old boy raising his hands up to our Heavenly Father. I am so thankful that I can already see God fashioning them into little Christians who love the Lord with a perfect faith that has not yet been tainted by the world, it is beautiful! It is a gift!! One that can never be wrapped in a package but one that will very much be wrapped within the walls of my heart for sometime!

Being mother is an amazing gift. I do not think it is one that you can ever be completely confident in. There is no financial paycheck, parking spot or corner office. But I know in my position there are two little people that i get watch grow upward, outward and inward and there is no salary that could match that.

I Am A Mother.

Jesus' Love For Others and For Me

The last two weeks of Children's Church I have been teaching about Jesus' Love for them and how they can share this gift with others. I to have been challenged by the lessons and have been praying that God would use me in this way. I have felt used but at the same time the lessons have made me aware of the way others have been showing me Jesus' love. I have had so many kind notes, offers to help, hugs and prayers that I feel so full to the brim with love that I could really burst.

The other thing I was just challenged with yesterday was from Willie at Bible Study. It was a challenge really. She challenged up to really need and desire our husbands. And not in a physical way in a relational, emotional, and somewhat spiritual way. For God has given them to us to be our partners in life. Now this is a hard thing for me, you know I am really a do it herself kind of gal. It is hard for me to ask for help and it can be hard for me to let down my wall enough to let others in. This includes my husband. So often he gets the leftovers of me and lately the leftovers aren't so much but scraps. I have been running around like a chicken with her head cut off and at times purposefully avoiding parts of my reality in efforts to numb some of the pain. This isn't fair to anybody including me. In saying all of this I am going to take Willies challenge, I am going to be present and I am going to allow myself to need him for me:) It actually sounds very romantic.....

This pretty much wraps up my week. Work has been really nice even though it is a lot. It is really nice for me to direct my focus elsewhere and allow myself to get lost in the food coma. Today I mad 12 dozen empanadas, a strawberry rhubarb cheesecake, some herb ricotta spread, cookies, and some other yummy stuff. Back to work tomorrow and I know I need to make about 12 dozen mushroom spring rolls along with much else.

This Old House Part Four

Plus a cute Elliot!!

It has begun I would say the siding is about half way finished. I had between 6 and 8 men here all day Saturday from sun up to sun down working away. It is weird to look at still because even though it is not painted yet it looks completely different.

Thanks for all the help guys...we couldn't do this without you. And also a big shout out to Grandpa!! You are absolutely amazing, we love you!

My Mom............................................................................

I don't know if she will read this but Mom if you do I write this out of complete love and absolute recognition of what your life has been. And understanding that you have lost control over this.

Not a subject I write about much. If anyone needs to feel the sweet mercies of free falling grace it is this woman. I pray for her every day. I pray that God will bring her to her knees and turn her head so that she can see Him standing there to catch her. You see this may give you the wrong idea about my Mom.....she is not a horrible person. She is a sinner just like you or I. She has been dealt some tough cards and made some interesting choices in the past, but mostly she is just a Mom that loves her kids and her grandkids. A woman that doesn't always know the best way of doing this... but really do any of us? A woman that made choices that have racked her with guilt and a lot of pain. I would not want to trade her places for one second. But I will tell you one thing I love my Mom she has always done the best with what she has and sometimes that's not so much....sometimes its not even enough. She is plagued with much and I am sure freedom seems so far out of reach at this point and I don't really blame her for wanting to give up. I don't blame her for wanting to be done. But I just wish she knew how much I admire her in a lot of ways. I admire her for holding out long enough to raise my sister and I the best she could....for picking a man that not only loves her more than most could but also loved her children. And a lot more that I can't share on here.

Why am I writing this???? I can't go into a lot of detail right now. But I will ask if you are the praying kind to please offer up some for my mom tonight. You see she is no longer able to fight off the demons that plague her and she has finally asked for help and I just pray it works this time. Could you pray too? Pray that she will allow for the help to work. Pray that she won't give up because she will die if she does. Pray that she will be strong enough to block thoughts that you wouldn't want to live with for a second. Pray that she will let us visit when she is ready. Pray that she will find in her words, "a spiritual side to her life." Pray for us to be strong to be supportive but not enabling. Pray that my children will only need to know bits and pieces about this mess.