Friday, May 6, 2011

A little piece of hope.

I slept for the first time in 3 weeks to the point of dreaming. I didn't wake once all night. This is a tiny piece of hope, a tiny piece of heaven. I have mentioned before that I am not a very great sleeper, however this doesn't mean I don't need sleep. The feeling of sleep however after not having any is a bit intoxicating when you wake in the morning, and the vigor and excitement that comes with it is very encouraging:)

I was reading in a devotional I turn to time and again called Streams in the Desert, it will always be one of my favorites. My system for reading it after picking it up again after sometime is to simply pick it up flip to a page and drink up the goodness that lies inside. So that is what I did yesterday I flipped to the date of May 11, and this is what I found, it is amazing to me that God can even use my random attempts at being fed. These were the exact words I needed yesterday, and He knew.

Part of it goes on to say....Oh, how everything gives way when affliction first comes upon us! The clinging stem of our hopes are quickly snapped, and our heart lies overwhelmed and prostrate, like a vine the windstorm has torn from the trellis. But once the initial shock is over and we are able to look up and say,"It is the Lord" faith begins to lift our shattered hopes once more and securely binds them to the feet of God. And the final result is confidence, safety, and peace.

The adverse winds blew against my life;
My little ship with grief was tossed;
my plans were gone-heart full of strife,
And all hope seemed to be lost-
"Then He arose"-one word of peace
"There was a calm"-a sweet release.

A tempest great of doubt and fear
Possessed of my mind; no light was there
To guide, or make my vision clear.
Dark night! twas more than I could bear-
"Then He arose"-one word of peace
"There was a calm"-a sweet release.

My heart was sinking neath the wave
Of deepening test and raging grief;
All seemed as lost, and none could save,
And nothing could bring me relief-
"Then He arose"-and spoke one word,
"There was a calm!" "IT IS THE LORD."

Oh how I love my God! I love that His presence alone can bring me the peace I need. And when I remember to ask he will give me rest! I love that when all my hope is gone my hope in Him never fades:)

And so I let it go yesterday with the knowledge that not everything is perfect yet, but it will be! I let it go knowing that not everything that has happened in the last three weeks makes sense or even panned out even close to how I wanted it to, but someday it will. I went to sleep knowing that my God know my heart hurts and my heart joys and He is there for both side of my life.

1 comment:

Ed / Julie said...

Love your honesty, Jessica! I still need to drop by and pick up that cookie scoop! What's your address?