Today was a hard day. I felt bad several times for having doubt, for having worry....for not letting the simplicity of my existence take over and letting my own complicated way of thinking and understanding take over truths that are given to me.
So many times today I had to remind myself that the only thing that matters is God's love for me and my acceptance of it. Wow how simple. Wow how hard to remind myself of that....but it needs to be daily right now maybe even hourly.
I felt Satan try and take the stronghold several times today when all I really needed to be doing was accepting the joy in the moment...not the sorrow or anxiety of the future. Oh its hard.
Here is my list of things that matter.....its short.
My Little Family
The things that God gives me to love and enjoy.
My work that is God given.
Here is an incomplete list of things that are not important.....its is very long in comparison.
Where I live.
Where I worship...as long as I am doing it.
What others think of me.
What school my kids go to.
How much money I have or don't have....as long as what I have I am using in an honorable way.
Where I work.
What my yard looks like.
What my hair looks like.
What my dinners taste like.
What neighborhood I live in or if I even like my neighbors....as long as I love them in a Godly way.
And so on and so forth.
I catch myself looking at people and things in my life in relation to what I might miss if my life changes drastically. When really the things that matter most will not change at all. It is just like I tell my kids you are never alone because Jesus lives in your little heart and your Mothers love for you never fades. And in my case even if everything I cherish and treasure changes completely the first will remain true. Jesus is always with me. And as long as I stay yolked with my God I need not doubt or worry about what tomorrow may bring. For His timing and His plan will reign no matter what.
My favorite scripture as of late is from Matthew 11:28- 30
The Jesus said, "Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yolk upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.
The Message version is nice as well.
Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your lie. I'l show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms or grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.
The truth of the matter being if I live my life yolked to my Maker there happens to be no burden at all....only a gift. And that is what my focus will be among tears, the gift I have been given.