Fierce.

Its been an interesting couple days...heck an interesting couple of weeks.

School for the kids has been less then fabulous, I actually used these exact words with Elliot's teacher yesterday.

We have been dealing with mean kids, disorganized practices, and lack of understanding. This is vague I realize....I just don't want to give the impression that this isn't a good school. I think it might be, however I am also beginning to wonder if it is the right place for the Jagers to be.

So yesterday after a frustrating conversation with Elliot's teacher and what I felt was a condescending email from her as well, I let er rip. I prayed hard for the words to say, I prayed hard for guidance and direction and I cried until my eyes were swollen and my stomach felt sick. One thing I have known from the moment I laid eyes on my Elliot was that I would fight for him, I would make sure he had the best I could give him, that I would pray and fight for God's will in his life and I wouldn't let anything or anyone get in the way. You don't get in between me and my cubs it will be ugly and I will win:) So yeah I got a bit fierce yesterday, but I felt the Spirit fill me and I moved forward with God's prompting.

So what does a fierce Mama bear do when she feels as if she is not being heard? She uses her words, it is what I have encouraged my children to do since they were old enough to become frustrated. And I believe it is the greatest avenue for me to get my point across. So I sent out an email claiming my desires for my children, my expectations for others in their regard and my discouragement with recent happenings. I claimed my love for Christ and the need for my children to be able to represent their faith in all that they do. I claimed the need for that in their classrooms and I laid it out flat people because believe me yesterday it took everything in my power to not pull them from this place yesterday and homeschool their little bodies. And as I hit the send button I felt a bit nervous. But I knew with all my being the only way we could try and make this work was for me to share and so I did.

I prayed all day that my words would be received in the way I believed they had been given to me. I pushed forward with faith. And by evening I had my response. A 4 point plan of action to make this situation better. Booyah...GOd delivered and I had my answer. WE were going to give this the old Jager try, with faith and perseverance and hope , trusting that God knows.

So we will see. Jagers are not quitters. We are here to bring light where there is darkness, to serve those who need more than we do, To bring glory to God in all that we do and in that I think we can bring some positive things to this place if we give it a chance. So thats what we will do.

Brian told me last night he loved my fierceness the most. I am not sure that the rest of the world knows what to do with it. I am not sure that this school knows what to do with me yet either, I plan to switch it around;) They won't know what hit them.

Two fist pumps for all the other Mama Bears out there:)

My days are different.

Every time I make an appointment around here I am faced with the normal question...what time works for you? It causes me to giggle...as anytime between the hours of 9 and 3:15 Monday through Friday work for me. The question of what on your list tomorrow holds no weight at this point as tomorrow brings the same as the one before, not a whole lot. I am not complaining as I am an overcommiter....this has been therapeutic. It is just strange how the joyful moments of my day have changed and maybe in some ways for the better.

My joyful moments include picking the kids up from school, dropping them off seems more unnatural then ever at this point and I can't wait to see them in the afternoon. Kissing my husband when he walks in the door after work and asking him how his day was. Making dinner maybe this hasn't changed much but I can spend all afternoon making different elements if I want. Helping my grandma with projects and spending time sewing, and knitting...exploring the city together....it has been more of a blessing then anything having her here. And receiving random phone calls from friends back home, conversations filled with well wishes and info that I am missing out on. I enjoy our evenings together more than I have ever been able to as they are a blank slate to entertain however we see fit. This time is a blessing it has opened my eyes to the things we have been missing.

But I would be lying if I didn't tell you I don't miss my old life. I miss Eagle Boosters, my friends, church, and school. This is a completely new ball game and I have to remind myself at times that there is purpose in it.

I now have a chore schedule to clean all 4400 sq ft of this monstrosity of a home. Carpets on Tuesdays, hard floors on Thursdays, bathrooms on Wednesdays...I really dislike cleaning it is my nemesis so the breakdown really helps. Cooking dinner is my oasis and something to look forward to everyday. The kids were begging for pizza the other day as we have eaten at home for every meal since we got here...I guess my cooking is good but everyone likes a treat now and again:)

Currently I am getting more used to the idea that this life holds great meaning too and my ability to create a nest for my family is very valuable. It is hard though to go from a list of titles from others, to just mom, wife and granddaughter. But God is teaching me...showing me the way a little more each day. And I can see how this blank slate is beneficial for those around me. And hopefully I will see how this benefits me as well over time.

In completely separate news, I received an invitation to a Holiday Celebration thrown by none other than Mr. Jager and his colleagues for their employees. Its pretty swanky apparently.

I am pretty pumped. Not only because I have something to look forward too either. Nope I am a registered dress hoarder...yep thats me. I buy them up cheap and store them away. So I've already got the dress. I scheduled a hair appt...oh yeah I found a salon yesterday and got my hair did:) and so all I am going to splurge on is a pair of shoes because I may be a shoe hoarder as well. And now from the sounds of it I may be becoming a better kept woman than I originally thought. At least I can look the part. My grandma says I need to carry myself as a professionals wife....hahahaha! You can take the girl out of farm country but you can't take the farm out of the girl!

Update from the Eastside.

Over here whenever we introduce ourselves to someone knew the refer to our previous location as the westside. I suppose its accurate. But being a previous resident of the Seattle area the Eastside was Bellevue/Redmond and the Westside was Seattle, so it still takes me by surprise when I hear it.


So enough of the confusion you are looking for an update.

I made a point to take each of the kids on a date last week. It has always been important to me to spend time with them separately on a regular basis. With moving and the general uproar of our lives over the last month we haven't had much opportunity to do so.

So I took Grace to a pottery paint shop in The Riverside Mall downtown.

I am not sure why but she seemed so grown up on this date. She was very collected and careful with her creation. We had great conversation and finished a piece for each other. She made me a jewelry dish and I painted her a piggy bank. We had a dance party in the car on the way back to the house. It was a marvelous evening....I can't wait to do it again!

Elliot and I took a ride on the Gondola overlooking the river that runs through town. It was really fun and super beautiful.


I think his emotions were a mix of terror and awe.

And this may be my new favorite picture of us. Goofy yes...but thats what we are:)


ANd it is in full force snowing now. It has been snowing since Thursday and would say we now have about 4 or 6 inches.


The kids love it. The snow here is so dry they can play in it forever as long as they are bundled up. And may I add they get themselves bundled up this year....winning! WE have come a long way baby!

I have officially declared that Spokane is the coldest place on earth...it hasn't been above 32 in a week. And at night it is about 25 or so. The cold moves right through you. I will say it is sure nice that it isn't so wet out on top of it. And of course I must add that I am so grateful that we can enjoy it from the windows of our warm home...I know there are many in this country with cold weather and no power or running water, our prayers remain with those on the east coast. I can't imagine!



In other news I am becoming quite comfortable with the perks of living in Spokane. We have a grocery service that brings us locally sourced seasonal produce and meats as well as other odds and ends once a week.


And on Friday we will start receiving a local farm fresh milk delivery along with butter and eggs from Spokane Family Farm. It didn't take me long to find the local farmers in our community and we are doing our best to support them as much as we can.

While the kids are at school I have been trying to finish Grace's quilt for Christmas. So far I am very happy with how it is turning out. It is supposed to be a scrap style quilt....however I will assure you that doesn't translate to easy as each fabric was chosen specifically and each square overanalyzed to the point of mental breakdown. But it is so very Grace, I would describe at as modern day Punky Brewster...if you don't know who that is we may have trouble being friends!


And just in case you didn't find a giggle anywhere else in this post...this is how Elliot walks around the house in the morning. Eat your heart out ladies. Thats 62lbs of pure lean mean fighting machine:)


Peace Homies~

My little cherubs.

The hardest thing about this move has definitely been parenting through it. I mean they don't give you a book that says.....Hey you are moving! Here are the hard fast ways to not screw your kids up.

I will tell you there have been a whole lot of emotions and they present themselves in many different ways....most of them not positive. It is hard to explain to your 9 going on 42 year old son why you would move away form all of your comforts to move somewhere totally new where we know no one and nothing. In fact he thought we had lost our minds. But what I am seeing with that little boy is that doing something like we are doing is completely out of his character, not in his nature....if left to his own devices he wouldn't have made this choice. But i believe through this God has used Brian and I to show Elliot what it means to have faith, what it means to trust and follow God's will and that is something that Elliot will need all of his life. That is something that will not come easy for him, yet God is using me to show him how it works. We had a conversation the other night at nearly 10 o'clock...no sleeping was happening...only worry...only doubt (before I go on I should tell you that Satan tries to get to us through our kids, we don't like to say these things out loud as Christians but I think it is important to realize and recognize so we can be prepared...I have seen it and it takes strength to persevere)...he was questioning it all, sure that we would never learn to love our life here. And it was one of those times when I turned my head to the heavens and asked God for the words because I too have had moments of these thoughts. And so that is exactly what I told my son. I took a chance and was humble in front of him, telling him that his father and I have struggled with the same emotions, that we too have had doubt, but in the end I know that God nto only guides but carries us and when we have faith and follow his lead he makes the path straight before us. He asked me directly how I knew how this was God's plan for us? THis was hard because the only thing I could tell him was through prayer and faith God had shown us this was the way.

Teaching faith to our children can seem so ambiguos at times, can't it? It is interesting to explain it out loud because I think it is often something we don't realize we have most of the time. Heck, maybe it is even something that we don't remember to use or have sometimes. For every moment of anxiety and or worry is an opportunity we have to choose faith to choose God. And isn't it amazing when we consciously choose faith how quickly peace overtakes what seems so heavy. Hoever palpating and explaining what faith really is so difficult. So this how I explained it to my little worrier. I was honest, I was humble, and I left the door open for more. I used our won example and told him I was worried too, because I think it is important for our kids to know that we don't always have it all figured out either but we know who does.

So as I dropped them at their new schools this morning I watched them enter their classrooms with confidence, with joy and there didn't seem to be fear. I praised God right then and there.

There is so much to be thankful for, isn't there? I am realizing this more and more each day.

On my drive home today I saw the city for what it is. I saw struggling folks and successful folks, some in suits and some in rags, big tall buildings and broken down shacks and I thanked God for putting us here. With tears in my eyes, and running down my cheeks I prayed He would use each of us to further His kingdom here...to better it in some way. For I know his plan covers all and it has so little to do with little old me. However it does include each of us if we allow Him to use us in ways that He sees fit. So today it may have been a prayer I said for those I saw on the streets and corners as I passed and tomorrow it may be something different, but each way is impactful in its own right, and each fulfills His purpose for me:)

I will come back with pictures of them in front of their school later today....Elliot didn't want to be embarrassed because it isn't technically their first day of school.

People in Spokane are so dang friendly!

No one witchy lives in Spokane. You heard it hear folks. You come here you get a small town vibe in a giant city. Sorry to say but they have us beat in the PNW. People purposefully look you in the eye and smile here. Young boys bring your groceries to your car without even asking. Clerks and workers make real conversation even if it keeps them from doing there jobs. No one honks their horns. Its reminiscent of Lake Wobegone people....you know Garrison Keillor....where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.

So it is apparent that I am liking this place. Love the people. The town itself however feels kind of reminiscent of Canada, you know how zoning seems non-existent and nothing makes sense, weird traffic signals and such. I do know how to get downtown, to South Hill and to Northtown. I have visited 7 grocery stores all within 6 miles of my house. Honestly I live in Suburbia and it is a bit strange....but I'm dealing.

In other news my kids are coming home tonight around midnight and they sent me this photo.

I can't wait to kiss those little faces.

And lastly Brian talked me into going to Walmart because we were right by one this evening. Yep, still really do not like it there. Pretty sure a tiny piece of me died upon entering that store and if its another 5 or 6 years until I go in again that will be to soon:) And that is all I have to say about that;)

Ta Ta for now!

Kiddos.

Today is the kiddos last day of school at Ebenezer. Sadness for all!

We have loved that school and they have loved us back. I remember when we decided to enroll Elliot there I knew that we were doing the right thing. I never worried nor thought that we would ever have a problem there and that has rung true. Ebenezer has been family to us and so they will remain. But I plan to type a post about that later.

Today though I would just ask that you keep my little cherubs in your prayers as they head to school with heavy hearts although I have tried to convince them otherwise. I guess I know how they feel and do not blame them a bit. It is hard to not feel sadness when you have no idea what is around the corner. We already have plans to see some of their friends from Ebenezer throughout the summer so as we know there is no good-bye between true friends!

Tomorrow they come to our new home and I can not wait to kiss their little faces off! IT has been a long week without them but it was the best choice to leave them there. I have been able to get the house all ready and prepared for their arrival and hopefully that will make for a smoother transition.

So thats it for today. Just a plea for prayers for the littles.

Spokanety Kane.

We are here. We are well. We are blessed.

I can tell you now that I know why God had our original housing plans turned upside down, forcing me to choose something else. The house we are in is so me. Lots of windows, clean, straight lines, beautiful but not pretentious, perfect for us.

I have had no choice in the last weeks but to trust and it has provided much reflection for me. Just 6 months ago I remember having a conversation with my friend the farmer about how I needed to learn to trust more, question less and be obedient above all things. It was at that time that I started praying and asking God to teach me how to be more of these things. To put His will for me first and for me to put all of my preconceived notions of what my life "should" look like aside. This is where I tell you if you are bold enough to pray in this way, hold on to your panties (a quote from the farmer) because you may be in for some GREAT change. Not just great in size or uproar but in the fullness of blessings. What has transformed in my life in the last 3 weeks has been so overwhelming but I will tell you time and time again it is what I prayed for it was what I wanted God to show me and boy howdy did he. And he continues, I know there is so much more in store for me here. In fact I lay in bed this morning after Brian left and prayed that God would unfold my purpose here in this new town, in this new home. I vowed to follow what God would lay out, and it is both exciting and terrifying. This move has asked and demanded me to leave everything I have known to be "me" behind. My friends, my home, my jobs, my school, my church, my family....pretty much all of my comforts. I went from having 11 titles to having 3. Child of God, Wife and Mom. I suppose these are my three greatest titles and I can see how part of my new purpose will be much involved in the three of these things.

I find myself looking out the window in the morning praying for this new town and I continue to ask God to show me someone to bless. Give me a job, I pray. And so I wait. I have also vowed to not become over committed. To allow my main focus to be here to help us all to become rooted. But I have seem an opportunity driving back in forth over the last couple of days and I think after awhile I may check it out. I giggled when I saw the sign and I mentioned it to Brian...only time will tell, I will only go with prompting. Because he has taught me what I prayed for, trust and obedience.

My Rah has been with me nearly every second since this began to unfold....however on Saturday she will head back home. Once again she proves to be one of the most loyal friends one could have. It will be hard to see her go.

So I have some pictures of the house to show. Thats what you all want to see anyway right?

This is the front side of the house. It overlooks the entire NE side of the city.




This is my WOW this turned out way better than I thought it would face:)


We got here and realized Elliot didn't really have any furniture, because his last room had built ins. So I refinished this desk for him. I still need to get him a set of shelves, but I am kind of picky when it comes to furniture...good bones are important.

This is what it looked like before.


Everyday the turkeys come through.


Brian took me on a date last night. We went for appetizers and drinks and then he took me ice skating at an outdoor rink. It was one of the most fun dates we have ever been on...it made me feel young:)


And here is a picture of the kids school. They will start on Tuesday. Please pray for them. We sat in one ach of their classes yesterday and it seems like it will be a really good fit. There are some things that they do a bit differently that I think my kids will benefit from. I tried not to be a tiger mom, I only stressed the importance of strong academic achievement two times......


I found this little picture at a store the other day and I thought the words to be very fitting for life right now.


And that about wraps it up for now.