First I love my house, our home. To many it may seem small, it may seem old, it may seem like a lot of projects and it is all of these things. But, it is also ours, its where we sleep at night, its where I can hear my children playing and fighting, its where I welcome my friends, its where I know we are safe and stable. And mostly it is the place God gave us to be a family. I love this house. One of our friends recently said this place always feels like home, well if you know me at all you know my heart melted into a big puddle on the floor. It is what I have always wanted.
Second I love our friends. In High School I had friends but most them were just surface level friends. Oddly enough there are only two that I keep in touch with now that I am incredibly close with. Over the last few years though acquaintances have turned into friends and now are family to us. I see them all of the time and I miss them when they are gone. We rejoice in each others excitement and pray for each others hard times. I don't know what I would do without them.
Third Family. Our Family is much like anyone elses. We have our differences, we are all unique and have different gifts and talents. But at the end of the day we are exactly that, Family. Each of us is in it because God has chosen us to be a part of it for a specific reason. I love them all and would do anything for them and they would for me! I am so lucky to have them and my children are so lucky to have grandparents and great grandparents that love them through it all.
And lastly but definitely not leastly:) My little family of four. I never thought in a million years that if I had children that I would have only two. I really always thought that we would have 4 kids and live this big family life. But God had different plans. And although there are days that it stings to think that we are not having anymore children in all honesty I can not imagine anymore than what I have right now. Even though Grace is never quiet and Elliot literally runs circles around me, I love those two little rascals more than anything on this earth. I think both of them belong right here with us and they are the perfect pairing for Brian and I. The three blessings I live with everyday are rewarding, exhausting and completely amazing in their own ways.
Mostly though and this has been a recent thought of mine I think because this birthday hit me weird. I can not believe what God has pulled us through in the last 7 years and even more so the last 15. I remember how I felt about myself in high school and the first few years out of it and I am not even a shadow of that now. I am not trying to say that I am so old or so seasoned or that I even have a smidgen of this figured out. However, I love myself now and love what I have and so much of what I have has nothing to do with material goods or money. (I don't know if I have ever really believed that I loved myself before. This thought actually came as surprise to me the other day which makes me cry a bit even now.) Most of what I have is just complete blessing piled upon blessing, piled upon blessing. It is amazing when you let God love you he really shows you a lot. He has showed me a ton and I really feel like I am bursting at the seams right now with this life!! And I can't wait to see what the next 7, 10, 15 years bring I am sure they will be hard,I am sure they won't be perfect they never are but I know they will be amazing!
I am a woman who needs nothing at all but wants all that she has more than she ever knew she would!
I have been trying to live in each moment lately instead of rushing through days at a time. This life is precious, THIS LIFE IS GOOD!
And I am sure yours is as well!!