Saturday, April 2, 2011

My Emmie Kaekers

My sister is my constant. I know coming from a nearly..ahem...30 year old woman, me stating this may seem strange and weird and well odd seeing as I am a happily married woman with 2 beautiful kids that are most obviously my constant, also coming from a woman who loves the Lord with all of her earthly being I could truly state that he is my constant as well. And in saying this that is true all three of these statements are true. However my sister has been my constant for her entire earthly existence, and for the last almost 25 years I have loved her with all of my being, cared for her and what not. I know that in recent years much to my dismay it is not like we are joined at the hip but I love her just the same. Our hearts are connected and we share experiences and stories and history that only we know and understand. For a lot of years she was my only constant, and now she is one of many.

Well this being said my Emmie Kaekers(her childhood nickname), is going to become a mama sooner than later, sooner being in a matter of days. She will be giving birth to a beautiful baby boy, I can say this because I already know he is going to be the cutest dark hair, dark eyed munchkin one has ever laid eyes on. I have watched her grow in the last few weeks from beautifully pregnant to beautifully pregnant, pained and uncomfortable, filled with excitement and impatience.

The last week she as well as I but mostly she has experienced some things that have brought great sadness, confusion, anger and anxiety and I am so proud of her for handling it all strong and brave. I have also been sad because I can not be her constant in the situation as much as I would like. My own choices for my family have separated us a bit in this. My original roll of caretaker, protector and defender of my baby sister, is no longer needed I know, but my heart automatically wants to go there. I have fallen asleep praying for her the last 6 nights and I imagine it will go on like this until some of these situations subside. Unfortunately only one of the situations will bring great joy, the birth of her son and the other will bring sorrow and a hole for her I am sure, death of a loved one, death of a father.

Emmi when you read this I pray that you will know how proud I am to be your sister...I will be in your corner through this. And most of all I am praying for you constantly, because this is one of my constants now. But no matter how old we get or what life brings us I will still be your sissy, I can still be your constant.......

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