We go on dates in a mini van now...

and I quite like it. I love seeing Brian drive that thing Dads in mini vans are kinda cute....maybe its just me, but a man who loves his family and his wife enough to drive that thing with pride is really...well it really makes me smile and sometimes I blush at how in love with this man I am. This statement really has nothing to do with post you should be warned...other than it is proof that a relationship/person does continue to evolve into something you couldn't quite picture as something so attractive until you are in it. I believe that this is the exact realization that sums up my past year.

This post has been in the works for weeks. I haven't written my reflective birthday post for this year and I think it would be quite a shame if I didn't get all of the thoughts wrapped around my heart and mind out. So here goes.

This year has been the most confusing year I have had to date. The only year I can think of that could even hold a candle to this would actually be a two year period of time between the ages of 17 and 19 and before you say or think typical I could beg to differ. Although I haven't lived out your story so who knows. Those years between 17 and 19 I refer(in my mind) to as the hardest test of my life. I think God gives us certain experiences sometimes to help craft us into what we are to become to show us what we could have to give us a finer perspective of what he wants us to have of what he intended us to have and ultimately what is perfect for us to carry out his plan. I remember the exact weekend this all became clear and the months following it that led me to a greater understanding of what God really wanted for me. I think back to that time often and over the years it continues to evolve for me into something that I see as one of the most beautiful times in my life. A time that was about me and me alone with God and the pair of us wrestling through what would become my life.

But back to this year and how it realtes to that period of time. Its that period of time that gives me hope in years such as this past one. I know it is all going to be okay because of the faithfulness I was forced to have in the times before and how God always stands beside me. And that is what gets me through.

Every birthday I have had for the past 5 years starts the same. I get up I go to the bathroom and I stare at myself straight in the mirror and I tell myself a God given truth. God knows how you came to be. Its a reassurance its a blessing it helps me with my day. You see how I came to be is foggy and it is confusing and Satan tries to use it every year on my birthday to cloud the promises that day brings. And this year was no different. The strange loss I experienced this year and all of the mixed emotions and boggled understandings actually made it easier and worse all at the same time. But something tells me selfishly its going to be easier for me from this year forward. There was a bit of peace this year. And so much of what mattered before seems to not matter at all or maybe just not as much. And I am learning to be okay with saying that out loud and I am learning to rest in admitting the peace to myself.

The peace in losing someone is a strange feeling. Guilt tries to creep in rather quickly. So in all of this I finally said it out loud to someone last week. That someone being my grandma, because if anyone is going to tell me straight up its her. So I let it all out and she said thats good, thats okay and you shouldn't feel bad. She gets it she gets me and I love her for it. And letting out the feelings that made feel like I might be a bad person was validating. And I needed this to be able to close my year of 28 and settle into 29. The shallow part of me needed to be validated in my choices in my decisions in my following of what my understanding of Gods will for my little family and myself.

My birthday was the best birthday to date. I love the idea of turning 30....I feel more like a woman and less like a girl, strange but true. I feel like the skies look a little bluer. I feel like my understanding of whats to come is clearer. I feel like the most blessed woman in this stinkin world. I feel like my general feeling that the past -good or bad- is what makes life beautiful but we can't live there because the present is what its about:)

P.S. I love my mini van. I am so glad we bought it. I am so glad my husband talked me into it. Cheers to mini van moms around the world its the best ever.

Dream Equipment- Husband Edition

About a year ago our lawn mower died. Normal people would go out and get a new mower and continue life as usual. Not the Jagers:) No MR. Jager decides he wants to purchase himself his dream mower with a hefty price tag, while Mrs. Jager talks to him about reality. Mrs. Jager goes further to tell Mr. Jager that if he can find his dream mower for under $100 he could buy one (of course thinking he would break down and by a regular more affordable model.)

Well its been a year and for the last year our neighbor boy has been mowing the lawn for a fee. This has been convenient in a number of ways...1- he comes same day every week I never have to remind anyone 2- they take all clippings away 3-I don't have to remind anyone (repeat sorry)

Well yesterday the waiting came to an end. Mr. Jager found an older model reel style mower on craigslist for half of his budget and got $10 off of that because he's Mr. Jager and paying asking price would be practically sinful.

He was so proud when he pulled out of the back of the van. It needs some work he says but it starts;)

And just to prove to his wife he decided to show her how it started right up. So he pulls the cord and what do you know it starts right up and the cord disengages from the mower(this is not supposed to happen.) Mrs. Jager attempted to hold back the laughing which resulted in snorting which resulted in laughing. Mr. Jager proceeded to take the said mower for a spin around the yard;)

Mr. Jager says good news is he took small gas engines in High School and his father in law is a mechanic, they will have this thing running in no time.

Mrs. Jager would like to say she loves Mr. Jager and is more than proud to be his loving wife.

My 29th Birthday in Pictures

Some of these pictures aren't the best...but they are what they are.

I can honestly say this year was my best birthday to date. And it had nothing to do with presents or events all though that was all good. It was more about time spent with people I love, enjoying my surroundings and taking in all of the wonderfullness of my life. It was great it was wonderful it was awesome! I have the best family and friends in the world!


my yummy neice Layla...she is chewable and she came to celebrate my birthday.

Ice cream roll with fresh raspberries....thanks mom!

Sun Sun Sun....I had been praying for sun this past weekend:)

We spent the day at the beach on Sunday:) Hot Dogs and sandy beach and family and friends equals pure bliss.

My Zachy Zach with Dot. He carried her around all afternoon.

Water Races.

My poolside date....he hated the pool so we hung out while his mommy relaxed in the pool:) I totally minded;)

And that was my birthday weekend. Relaxed and lovely!

My early birthday present...and Ruby's new BFF

Brian got me a puppy for my birthday(tomorrow). Yes I have been wanting another.



Her names is Dot. She is a longhaired, dapple Daschund. I am in love. And Ruby likes her two....double bonus.

My boys went fishing....

This is the only photo I have...I would have to add little boys in rain gear to my uncontrollable smile list.



And I assure you he was more than proud when he caught this. In fact he caught the biggest fish that day at 25 lbs. He called with a full report shortly after cleaning it. Not sure the big boys will be able to go fishing with out the little man anytime soon:)

Post Number Five Hundred

Post Number Five Hundred. I am well aware that some people post this much in a years time. But for me its a milestone. I love this blog its a place for me. I guess that last phrase does not make much sense but it does to me.

So my boys are fishing on the far side of Vancouver Island this weekend. Brian left on Thursday and Elliot will be gone in the morning. He is actually at my Mother In Laws now and boy was it hard to leave that little bugger. I am so excited for him to experience big water as he would say, but it was hard for me to send him on his first trip without me. And it was hard for him too. He had quite a lot of anxiety before falling asleep and it took a lot of reassurance but he has promised to take it one day at a time. I know as soon as he gets there I will be long forgotten and his Dad and Grandpa will be there to pick up the slack and wow him with fishing poles, junk food, power boats and giant fish.

Grace and I are taking in a girl weekend. The American Girl Store opens up in Lynnwood tomorrow and we will be two of the crazies attempting to primp our doll. We are also planning to do some shopping and have lunch. Can't get any more perfect in my book. As I am typing my little sugar plum is all bundled up in our bed because she insisted on a sleep over. I laid with her for awhile and then I bailed. I am a night owl and it was still to early for me to sleep. Another secret is as fun as a sleepover sounds Grace is horrible to sleep with:) She kicks and punches and she snores (she has snored since the day she was born like a trucker no joke, even without adnoids and tonsils at this point she she still snores lightly) and she drools. I have now told you all of her secrets, but she is the cutest drooler/snorer there ever was. So don't let that scare you.

On Sunday we will teach Sunday School and go to a birthday party and then I think we will have a popcorn party.

On Monday we will have Smalls. And late, late, Monday night our boys come home.

Elliot and Grace gave each other a kiss and hug when we left him tonight. They really do not like to be apart for any length of time especially Grace she loves her Elliot. I actually think this is why she is not sleeping upstairs tonight but no matter. I always thought having a big brother would be nice and I think for the most part for her that is true.

And another secret I really do not like being apart for any length of time either. I guess its good that I still like to be with my husband most of the time after almost ten years.

Well as I write this I can hear Grace talking in her sleep, it may be a long night. I guess I can always sleep in her bed if I need to;)

More posts to come about the above mentioned trips.

Goings Ons and What Not

The boys have been working on working on a lego project for the library on Thursday. Brian is the Chief Brick FInder while Elliot is The Brick Master. This child has more Legos than we can house. I am always adding more bins to fit their needs.

And Grace is just Cute!

This is the sign that Elliot has hanging outside his doorway.

I like how he spelled my name with a "k" , I think it adds some spice.

We went to Whatcom Falls Park yesterday for a little family type. Grace was convinced I was going to throw her over the edge.....Not sure why hence the not so great pic. I was trying to convince her I would never do such a thing.


Best picture I have gotten of my kids together in awhile. They are pretty cute, with their various missing teeth.


Thanks to the self timer we actually got a family photo as well.



Grace is so cute to me these days.

And last but not least I had to share you one of my best Second Chance finds ever. First off I am a bit vintage clothing obsessed....I love vintage. I have acquired quite the collection of vintage pieces and I am always looking for ways to add more, and no better place to do that then Second Chance. So the skirt was a quarter....no joking people .25cents. It is most obviously home made and most obviously vintage judging fromt he style of zipper they used. Love Love Love. I cut the head off of the photo because I had a weird look on my face.

Fourth of July 2011

I love the Fourth of July. We are so blessed to live in this country.

We spend the Fourth of July at my parents every year. It is so nice to be up there away from all the hubbub. The kids can run, and my Dad, Brian and my Brother in law usually put on a spectacular firework show at dark(this was the best year yet by the way). Its relaxing and I can't say that about many holidays.


My sister got to celebrate her first fourth of July as a mom. I think poor little smalls was just a wee bit overstimulated by all the going ons and this made laying him down just a wee bit difficult. So porr Emily missed the whole show. She didn't seem to mind...I wouldn't either if it meant holding this little guy!


The kids and their Gran.


My two little fire crackers....they were just a little bit excited about the firework show.


Normally my sister and I snuggle on a hammock and watch the show together, but shes a mommy now and her baby needed her.:) BJ didn't mind standing in for her though...


Sleep whats sleep:) Love Love Love this little one!!!! And yes he pretty much smiles constantly and hardly ever cries at all. Emily is incredibly blessed!

No firework pictures...I was way to relaxed and chill this weekend, just soaking up my family and loving the freedom to do so!!

Outdoor Movie Night

The outdoor movie night was the best ever. We invited a ton of people up to my parents for an outdoor movie night on Sunday. I chose Sandlot...the only mistake I suppose...I hadn't seen this movie since I was a kid and what I remembered was a baseball movie involving young boys and a few shenanigans. It was this but it also had a lot of language I didn't remember. All is forgiven and I haven't had any problem with my kids repeating anything that they heard so it must not have been as bad as I thought.

So we made the screen out of a roofing frame my Dad had and some old sheets. We borrowed a projector from Uncle Loop and our friend Todd had all of the sound equipment because when he isn't farming he DJs on occasion.

We started the night at 6pm with a weenie roast, we followed this up with hours of zip lining until dark(Brian and his friends built a zip line that runs through the backside of their property a few weeks back), we roasted smores, fished in the pond and just hung around. Once it was dark we made popcorn and watched the movie. We all set up lawn chairs and blankets it was so fun. Some of us camped overnight and enjoyed breakfast together in the morning and some went home after the movie.

Miss Emma in her jammies enjoying a tasty smore by the fire.

This was one of the best nights I have had in a long time we are so blessed to have good friends and family that we enjoy spending time with.

And a big thanks to my parents for letting us take over their place and for accommodating all of our desires. My dad my jokes all night about charging us for camping and day use;)

And this is what you do when you think you are a man but you are really a boy in the country. You assert yourself by driving something with power and smells like gasoline and oil and you drive your buddies and your sister around.


Matthew and Grace talking about who knows what very seriously on the dock. The quality isn't great because I was attempting to take the picture from somewhat far away in an attempt to not ruin the moment. Grace and Matthew say they aree going to get married someday...I am pretty sure Matthew is one of the nicest boys I know so I am okay with this for now.



This was pretty much the energy level of all the kids for the evening, a lot of sugar and too much adrenaline from the zipline. I am happy to say they were all well behaved and had so much fun.

Amy was the fisherwoman of the night, she caught quite a few and helped the kids too.


Zipline spectators.

You can also kind of see the movie screen behind them.

I thought I took way more pictures...too bad. Guess we were having to much fun:)

Oh and one last tid bit if you want to see me make a total fool out myself but having a lot of fun in the process you can watch me take a trip down the zipline. It takes a few seconds for me to come down so just be patient.
http://youtu.be/l1PIP5-Yvso

My Gracer Girl is Six!!

I promise to catch you up on all of our weekend event however they all started with a birthday party for our Gracer Girl. I am most sad though that now that she is six she no longer will be telling people that she is pive (not a typo just the way she said the word five until recently).

On Friday the pair of us girls got our hair cut at Ahmmys Hair shop. I just love this picture of Grace. Her little vampire teeth are my favorite.

Breakfast complete with a candle is always on the list for your birthday breakfast.(Please don't judge my painters tape...I have been completely unmotivated to finish painting my trim:(

Grace requested a rainbow cake this year and so I did my best to please her in this regard. I love to make the kids birthday cakes...it is so fun to see their faces light up when the set their eyes on it for the first time.


Happy Birthday my Grace! You are such a beautiful girl inside and out. This year marked big things for you...riding your bike without training wheels, completing kindegarten, learning to read, and my favorite asking Jesus into your heart. You have so much confidence and I love that you are not afraid to say what you want. You are extremely tough bumps and bruises are quickly fixed with a hug from mom and you are back on to do it all over again. God is going to do some mighty things with you and I can't wait to see what they are:)

I can't wait for our girls weekend next week, no boys allowed just you and me.

Are you coming for Babka?

I have had a recipe for a yummy cinnamon roll-esque bread for some time. And today during bootcamp I decided today would be the day. So at 6:30 I started the process and right now at 11am they just came out of the oven. Just so you know it is taking every bit of self control I have in my body to keep from prematurely flipping them out of their pans and devouring all three loaves all on my own. I know however that super hot food is not enjoyable and can not be savored properly (and I hate burning my mouth that might be the real reason;). So I will wait and become completely intoxicated by the chocolatey-cinnamony bready fumes and wait and touch them to see if they are still hot and wait some more.

But for now I will distract myself by sharing the link to the recipe.

The recipe is called Chocolate Babka-two bonus points for the super cool word within the recipe title. Babka means sweet yeast cake. You can find the recipe here. The website is called Knead To Be Loaved and you can find all sorts of baking resources and ideas on this site.

The best part is the recipe makes three loaves. So you can freeze the extras and bake them off later or share with your neighbors (thats what I am going to do).

I was also able to use my proofing function on my oven today and let me just tell you it works like a charm.

Well in the time it has taken me to write this the bread has cooled so please excuse me while I trot across the kitchen to do the yummy dance while I enjoy my treat.

Oh and one last sweet treat I wanted to share with you today.
Our Resident Pretzel aka soon to be 6 yr old, Gracer Girl.