She woke up this morning on the wrong side of the bed. She came down and stated she would not like to eat my lovely prepared breakfast she would much prefer cereal. She didn't want her brother to look at her, and geting her into the shower was like wrestling a bear. Brian looked at me and said, "you don't think you have a part in this?" Hmmmmmm. Yeah well I guess sometimes I don't really feel like eating what others have prepared for me to the point of wanting to retreat to my home to have a comforting bowl of soup that I made. I do have days where anyone looking at me sends me over the edge and honestly a shower somedays does seem like to much. So there! And wether she has learned this from me or she was just having a bad day, I am sure that today she was having a bad day. However when I reflect upon my own actions I think harder about how I should react to things sometimes....because she's watching me. Reflecting upon ones self also can stir up the grace within which helps me to look at her differently.
She is watching how I carry myself, how I dress, how I treat her father, how I care for my family, how I mother the pair of them, how I keep my home, how I treat my friends, how I give of my gifts and my time, how I practice my faith......she sees all. And I can't help but realize that I play a large roll in who she becomes. God has given me this. It is deep and vast and sometimes I feel like I am heading into the dark in how I should respond to her questions, in how I should guide her, in what I should model for her. I don't think this will change anytime soon.
I feel blessed to have the challenge though. To be trusted with the gift of a daughter. It takes a lot of prayer, a lot of trust and a lot of grace, which is her namesake, its not just a cute old fashioned name.
I happen to love this girl more than my heart can handle sometimes!