Wednesday, September 28, 2011

What the Future Holds.

I have been stressing lately. Stressing about what the future holds. There are things and circumstances that have fueled this anxiety, however I would be lying if I said that I don't find my mind worrying about this often or at least regularly.

Oh how easy it is to let your mind wander to even what the next day will be like. Last night I fell asleep thinking about how tired I was going to be after my day today. Really, are you kidding.? I can't be doing this anymore. Because worry leads to doubt and doubt leads to a less faithful heart and a less faithful heart leads to a bad attitude and bad attitude leads to burnout. And burnout is not acceptable if all that I do is really for Gods glory:)

I have also been anxiously anticipating a big change for this family that may unfold in the next few months. I am waiting for some things to snowball and that freaks me out. However I know that it was God that called us to look at the things I am anticipating. He is the one that created the opportunity and he was the one that prompted the prayer in order for us to pursue it.

When I think through the situations of the future in that way the anxiety quickly subsides with the knowledge that my God is in control of every little corner of my life. He is ultimately my future, and in the mean time I need to turn to him to give me peace to give me comfort to give me rest.

In the meantimes I am trying to simplify...for me this means something probably totally different than it would mean for each of you. For me it means duck taping my arms to my side when I enter a room, I can not let myself be the first one to raise there hands to take on new responsibilities or projects. Nope this girl has got plenty. I need to feel comfortable saying that and I am working on it. It means saying no. It means letting myself have free time so that I have time to just sit. The sitting creates more time for me to hear Gods voice and focus on what is totally important. It means trying to have all my "work" done when my kids get home from school so I can feel free to sit and enjoy them. It means focusing on my top 3, God then my husband then my kids, everything else is secondary and can wait. It means letting myself rest.

The common theme seems to be God, sitting and resting. I need to do this more. I need to let myself have a blank day on my calendar to make this happen. Who ever thought it would take so much work to rest. Eventually I hope this is not true!

So my hope to claim simplicity is hopefully going to aid in my peace with what the future holds. Because at the end of the day I know where my eternity will be spent and when I lay my head down at night that has got to be enough.

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